Spring Break In Pictures

(Due to my continued battle with this illness, I didn't get photos of everyone.) I did, however, enjoy every minute of having all of my kids here and Ethan too.


Guitar Heroes




Boys & Computers




Mmmmm...Popcycles!



Denver Nuggets Game

Making & Eating Brownies
(My apologies to my 3 kids who didn't make it any photos, and for not getting any Dance, Dance, Revolution Pics.)

Birthing

I've been reading Jenni's birth stories. If you are like me, watch birth stories on t.v., share your own, enjoy hearing the intimate details of birth once not even allowed to be witnessed by dads, you gotta check on Jenni's blog (that is, if you haven't already.) She is close to delivering her 12th child and is in the process of regaling us with every birth story until the last, which will no doubt be in real time.

There is something about the miracle of birth, but equally amazing is the heroics of every mom who has ever born a child. Does any pregnant woman really believe it will be as painful as others describe? So far, I have yet to meet one who could have imagined what the birth experience would really entail. No matter how many televised births seen, or girlfriend stories she has heard, it seems giving birth is a unique experience. Why shouldn't it be? Every child is uniquely individual, shouldn't their birth be too?

As a little girl, I listened to my mom share her stories. It seemed like she always began with my brothers birth. He wasn't the oldest, but his birth must have been the most dramatic. She'd begin with a phrase about her water breaking before they left for the hospital. This always intrigued me. I envisioned a water pipe in the laundry room spewing water everywhere. I wondered why she never mentioned when they cleaned all that water up or what happened. I was left to imagine my dad fixing the pipe later, after the birth of my brother.

His birth was most certainly a sensational event. His shoulders were larger than his head, causing him to get stuck in the birth canal. In a flurry of activity, the doctors put my mom our with some sort of gas, and they must have lost her on the table. She had an experience at that time that she didn't share with everyone. It can be described as a classic out-of-body, or near-death experience. Thankfully, my brother was delivered and my mom brought back to life too.

Her first birth was equally amazing. My oldest sister was born 2 1/2 month premature. According to my dad, he went to church the day after her birth. It was Father's Day and the asked all of the dads to stand. When my dad stood, his friends told him he wasn't really a father yet and to sit back down. He had the opportunity to share that he indeed was a father. Carolyn was born at a state-of-the art hospital where they were trying new therapies with preemies. My sister ended up being the youngest preemie to survive at that time.

My birth, being the 3rd child, sounded not-quite-so-exciting. It was a very quick, easy labor. In fact, I was some young intern's first delivery. I did enjoy hearing my mom tell how this intern asked her, "is this your first child?" After my mom replied no, he said, "well that's good, because this is my first delivery." My youngest sister's delivery was even more boring, with not amuch in the way of anecdotes.

Any one who has given birth deserves a medal of courage. If you want to share your birth story, let me know. I want to hear it.

This and That

Day 16 of a sore throat & congestion, that doesn't appear to be clearing anytime soon.

My mother-in-law had this great idea to fly to North Carolina to see her oldest daughter for Mother's Day and wanted her favorite daughter-in-law to accompany her. So guess who will be seeing the state of North Carolina for the first time in May? I'm so excited. Anyone out there live in Charlotte?

The best moment ever, on an Easter Sunday? Standing at the end of our church service, praying. The Pastor was inviting anyone who desired to a new life in Christ to come forward. People began walking towards the altar. I prayed for hearts to be soft and open. I felt a hand on my shoulder and a whisper in my ear. "Mom, would you go up there with me?" And with tears streaming down my face, I stepped out with my daughter, as she rededicated her life to the Lord. Nothing could bring greater joy.

A Nice Surprise-Not

In early December, you may recall I was pretty excited. I posted that Ethan was finally going to get the extra help he needed. He was to begin attending an autistic school. Can you believe he hasn't started yet?

Christina was told it would probably be February before he actually got in...you know the logistics, evaluating Ethan to see what his needs are, hiring a teacher, blah, blah, blah. But nothing happened. It gets sort of confusing, something about another child took his spot, he's next on the list...you get the picture. I'm wondering the whole time, what good does moving him so close to the end of the school year??? And what is taking so dang long?

Finally, a couple of weeks ago, Ethan was evaluated. Then came a meeting with the school district head honcho, who holds the power cards to approve, disapprove, allow, disallow-the one who holds the purse strings. The meeting also consisted of the director the Autistic School so she would know what exactly what head honcho was going to allocate for Ethan. It was during this meeting that Christina found out funding was approved for the remainder of the Spring semester, and for the Fall and Spring semester of next year. Sounded great. There was only one problem.

The Autistic School is year round. This means for 5 weeks this summer, there are no funds for Ethan to attend school. The new school said it would not be conducive for Ethan to start and then be absent for 5 weeks. If this was the case, he would not be accepted into their school. Translated: Christina needs to come up with a couple thousand dollars or so, in order for Ethan to attend his new school.

Isn't this a nice surprise?

All week I've felt guilty. My poor blog has been suffering feelings of rejection as I've logged on to the computer, yet failed to offer any words of assurance that I'm committed to her. So here I am.

Have I ever mentioned I don't multi-task? My computer operates just fine, performing simultaneous functions. I, on the other hand, can't even think about or plan more than one thing at a time. I can't plan Easter events before the last birthday celebration is completed. When I'm shopping for groceries on Monday I was able to buy for the week's meals, including a birthday dinner for Hilary. But forget planning for Easter dinner. My brain just cannot work all of those thoughts out. Easter snuck in way too early this year.

Yesterday was not only the end of the week and Good Friday, but it was officially the start of Spring Break for my school kids. Woohoo! That sort of snuck up on me too. Since I can't plan ahead, immediately I wanted to pack up the car and take off to some exotic location. (Ok, Arizona isn't exactly exotic, but warm & wild enough for me.) Gas prices don't scare me. (I don't pay the bills.) But Elisabeth has committed to house sitting for cousins who are at this moment, enjoying the tropics of Arizona. I'd feel awful leaving her behind with a houseful of pets. Sigh.

The good news? On Thursday, Christopher is boarding a plane in sunny Arizona and flying to not-quite-spring-yet Colorado. Ethan is on Spring break, so Christina and he will drive up to share in the fun. My house will be full. The heck with Spring Break, it will feel more like summer vacation.

Waiting For Baby

"We waited for months,
We waited for weeks.
We waited for days you see.
Our baby you'll always be!"

I picked up your book this morning, and read it cover to cover. "Written for Hilary Rose, by her maternal grandmother, so she'll always know she is loved." It is a delightful story of how we waited for you, our 5th baby to be born. Papa & Gramma were here to share in the excitement. Gramma penned the words, and snapped lots of photos to go into this book. She wanted you to know you were loved as much as our 1st, 2nd, 3rd, & 4th child. Even though you were the 9th grandchild, your birth was special. God planned for you.

At 16, you continue to fill our lives with joy, laughter, and beauty-exactly what your names mean.

>

>>

I didn't know you would be our last child. Gramma was right, "our baby you'll always be!" Happy 16th Birthday Hilary, We love you.

Thank-you

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. I had a lovely day. I made a lavish Mexican Fiesta, with my favorite dishes. (And yes, I could have gone out to dinner, but I wanted to save that for the weekend when Christina and Ethan could join us.) Of course I completely forgot Hilary was having her 16th birthday party on Saturday. How did I forget? I'd been cleaning the basement for 2 weeks so she'd have room for all of those teens.


I did have a pretty cake.


Sadly, I had a bad hair day all week. I had my hair cut on Monday. I'd made the appointment the week prior. Upon arriving, I couldn't remember how I wanted it cut. I knew I wanted 3 or 4 inches off the length in back, I just didn't know why. My hairdresser knows me pretty well and I trust her. She snipped to her heart's delight. The next day my memory returned and so did my reasons for cutting the length. I didn't want so many layers, just a bit towards the bottom. By cutting it shorter, the layers would be longer and it would be thicker. I now have the length off AND very short layers on top. The exact opposite of what I wanted. I wish I had a brain sometimes and could remember things.
Thanks for the wonderful birthday wishes. We celebrated again last night by going out to dinner. Tomorrow is Hilary's actual 16th birthdate. We'll eat more cake. Did I mention this is our birthday season?

What a nice surprise to wake up to this morning.

Sarabeth is graduating from high school this May. She has a commemorative tassle hanging from the rear view mirror, with an '08 dangling from it. At one point, it twisted around backwards and read '80. How funny. That was my class year.

I was flipping through the radio stations and noticed the "oldies" station no longer plays 50's and 60's music. They were playing 70's and 80's. When did that happen? Is my generation old?

But then I remember. I didn't actually graduate in 1980, like I was supposed to. I graduated in 1997. That makes me the class of '97. I feel so much younger.

To celebrate my birthday, would you mind leaving a comment? I'd love to know who's reading or who might have recently stopped by. Go ahead, make my day!

An Anniversary (Part 2)

As the months passed, we began to see a transformation. They were no longer Ed & Betty, living at the Meridian. Upon visiting my inlaws we were stepping into the community they'd immersed themselves. I'd find my mother-in-law, sitting at the puzzle table, just outside her room. She'd introduce me to her friends who were working with her on the current puzzle. They began inviting us to special dinners, like the "Wine & Candelight." What a joy to see them chatting away with so many new friends, pointing out which table they normally sit at and with whom.

Ed began stepping out of his comfort zone. When he comes to dinner, he doesn't seem to mind that we don't eat at 4, or even 5. He ventured downtown with us for Elisabeth's birthday at a ESPN Sports Zone, which is a glorified sports bar. Unless the weather is bad, he insists on going to his doctor appointments without us. He shares about the very informative and interesting talks given by (I wish I could remember the name of the organization.) Even after his heart attack just 6 weeks ago, my father-in-law insisted on driving over here a few days ago, to return a movie we'd loaned him. He came by himself, and we sat on the porch and visited while his lovely wife Elizabeth, was learning the card game Canasta.

Speaking of Elizabeth, I am so impressed. I remembered her saying how much she wished she could go by the name Elizabeth, instead of Betty. When I took her to my hairdresser for the first time, I made the appointment for "Elizabeth" and introduced her as such. She loves reading books with strong, female characters. I think "Elizabeth" sounds bolder than Betty.

Elizabeth stepped out of her comfort zone and began playing Bingo on Saturday nights. She attends exercise classes twice a week, reads with a group of second graders, learned to play Bunco, and ventures down to movie night. She isn't afraid to speak up. When some of the residents began discussing the shortfalls of the dininig hall chef, she joined a committee that meets to see that changes are made.

She was chatting with Sarabeth a few weeks ago. Sarabeth is graduating from high school in May and will go off to college in the Fall. Elizabeth excitedly explained the opportunity opening up before her. "You can be anybody you want to be. No one will know you at college. You can reinvent yourself. Everyone at this school knows you as the same little girl that you were when you started seventh grade. It's hard to change within that environment. Look at me, I've been Betty all of my life. Thanks to this move, I've become Elizabeth and it wasn't until I was 80 years old. I could never have done that living in Arizona."

This year has passed quickly. My inlaws not only survived their first winter in Colorado, but I'd say they were living well. We are so very blessed!

An Anniversary (Part 1)

Saturday is an anniversary of sorts around here. One year ago, my inlaws boarded a plane with as many clothes as their suitcases could hold, and came here to live for the rest of their lives. It was huge.

They'd spent the last 42 years in the hot desert of Arizona and were entering the ever-changing weather of Colorado. How would they adjust to living in snow?

At first we planned to renovate our home to provide them with space and privacy. After months of configuring, strategizing, engineering, researching,we came up with another plan. We found a lovely retirement community, the Meridian. It was close to our home with many amenitites that we couldn't provide-the first being a quiet place. Even though our home is quieter than it has been in years, it can still be bustling with activity and noise. That can be difficult to escape. At 83 and 79 years old, we felt a home at Meridian would offer them so much more than we could provide.

Shortly after their arrival, we worried. Had we made the right decision? They seemed tired, frail, sad. Michael and I doubted they'd be able to live on their own. During family dinners, it seemed they missed much of the conversations. We feared the noise level was too much, the chatting, laughter, and silly stories were not enjoyable but exhausting for them. What were we to do?

It didn't take too many days or weeks before we began to see remarkable improvement. Not only were they smiling more, they were becoming a central part of dinner conversations. Playful teasing, joking, and lots of laughter was exchanged between the kids and their grandparents. We were thrilled.

Towards the beginning of April, Michael and Christopher drove a truck of their downscaled belongings, and moved them into their one bedroom apartment. After everything was unpacked, we said goodbye and closed the door. As we walked from the building, I had butterflies in my stomach. The same flutters I felt the first day of Kindergarten with each of my children.

After 5 years, my child was no longer exclusively under my care.

After 5 weeks, my inlaws were no longer sharing our home.

I was excited for my child to begin his new journey at school, but I worried how he would cope with so many new experiences.

I was happy for my inlaws to have a place of their own, opportunites to meet new friends, and learn new things. Would they be happy?

Letting go butterflies. Hoping & trusting I've done what I should, in the time I'd been given. Expecting the best, but preparing for the worst. Very mixed emotions.

A Bad Day?

I understand that anyone can have a bad, even doctors. But when it comes to one of MY kids, it better not happen in my presence.

Elisabeth went for another back injection yesterday. Michael went with her. I had taken Hilary to school, which on a good day, I can drive it in 37 minutes. It was not a good day. Snow was blowing, and the roads were terrible. I arrived home 93 minutes after I'd left.

After her injection, Elisabeth was in a LOT of pain. With the particular meds that were used, she shouldn't have had any pain. She cried for 2 hours in recovery. The doctor doesn't usually come back to see patients, but two different nurses made requests that he do so.

I understand that he has a schedule to keep and that he is busy, but I don't understand his behavior. He appeared very agitated for having to see her. How much time did he save by snatching the juice from her hand as she was taking a drink? Was jerking her from a reclining position to sitting necessary? What did the few seconds it would take for him to wait for her to set the juice down and sit up on her own really cost him? Was he truly trying to save time?

Maybe this man was really dealing with his own pride. At our first meeting, he came off as very arrogant. He was certain of Elisabeth's diagnosis. We were hopeful in light of the confidence he exhibited, after reviewing her medical records. But now I can't help but wonder if he was feeling a bit like a failure when the injection seemed to go awry. Maybe his diagnosis had been wrong. Elisabeth's pain was making him look bad, and he didn't like that. The recovery room was filled with other patients of his. Several people, also waiting in recovery, came by to ask if Elisabeth was ok. They could tell it wasn't going well. Strangers cared and showed concern, why didn't this doctor?

To fix the problem, he filled a syringe with a numbing agent and re-injected her back. I think he over medicated her, as she became very sick afterwards.

It's a good thing I wasn't there. I would have been like a mama bear attacking anyone who harmed her baby cub. As it is, this doctor will get an earful at her next appointment. And maybe more.

Secrets

I grew up with an older sister who couldn't keep a secret. If Carolyn knew a secret, we were lucky if it lasted a few hours. I'm not sure why, but asking her not to tell, was like putting a plate of cookies before a sweet-toothed child and asking her not to touch or taste them. Whisper a secret into her ear, and it would come spilling out her lips.

I, on the other hand, loved keeping secrets. I was the best secret keeper I knew. Even my parents trusted me with secrets. Sometimes I knew of trips we would take before anyone else. I'd know what my dad was getting for his birthday. Maybe I felt special that someone trusted me with their secret-so much so, that I wouldn't do anything to lose that entrusted place.

The older I become, it is harder to keep a secret. I can still keep them, but I want everyone to know that "I" have a secret that I'm keeping. I'll announce that I have a secret. If you have read my blog for awhile, you probably remember another time when I shared that I had a surprise secret but couldn't tell what it was. But I had no problem saying I had a secret. And I did really enjoy when it was no longer a secret and I could share it openly.

So, I know a secret. I'm dying to say something, but I won't. And sometime in the near future, I will mention this post and release the secret. I will enjoy every minute of it. For now, I delight in knowing that I know a secret and in being able to say I have a secret.

Update

For those who asked, no I wasn't in the hospital. I went for a CT scan (those pesky sinus infections) and I was required to wear an I.D. bracelet. Did they think I'd forget my name, or have a medical emergency while having the scan and they needed to know I was allergic to morphine? I kept forgetting to cut it off and actually wore it until the next day. Like I said, they are comfy.

Michael drank coffee every day for an entire week. Then just as quickly as he began, he gave it up. Diet Pepsi is once again his morning beverage.

Last Saturday, we went out to dinner to celebrate Elisabeth's 21st birthday. I wanted to look nice and was digging through my jewelry box trying to find a pair of dangly earrings. (Somehow I thought they might make me look NOT like the mom of a 21year old. Forget the fact that Christina will be 27 in April.)

Sitting innocently, amongst my costume jewelry, were 2 earrings linked together. The rubies and diamonds glistened as lovely as ever. I scooped them up and hugged them tightly to my chest. Once they were lost, now they were found. (I was feeling foolish for the tears I'd cried.) Quickly, I adorned my ear lobes with these fine ornaments and joined my family in the car. I waited to share my find for later, as I didn't want to take anything away from El's birthday celebration. Afterall, 21 is the last big growing up birthday. The milestones after that are at ages 40, 50, etc. and the excitement just isn't the same.