Ethan & The Wedding

We were unsure how Ethan would handle the wedding. He is easily overwhelmed when subjected to large groups of people. Over 300 people were invited to the event.

At the rehearsal, Ethan seemed fascinated by the church. The cathedral ceiling and stained glass windows were new to him.

Christina & Sarabeth were scheduled to light the candles at the beginning of the ceremony. Ethan quickly clasped their hands, ready to go.

Thinking he wasn't up to the task, his grandpa coaxed him to the back of the foyer.

But just as soon as the girls began walking down the aisle, Ethan broke out in huge sobs and shrieks. He did not want him mom going anywhere without him.

The day of the wedding, Christina dressed Ethan in his new suit. When he realized he and his grandpa matched, he was delighted.

At some point he found his pants pocket. His hand remained there the rest of the night.


At the wedding, and at the reception. He eventually realized he had 2 pockets. We never saw his hands again. I picked him up and danced with him. It was a little awkward since he kept both hands securely tucked.

Ethan did amazingly well, even with the crowds of people. During the ceremony, holding hands with his mom and Sarabeth, he marched down the aisle and up the steps to light the candles. I stood in the back with Christopher, waiting to be escorted to my seat. Christopher, filled with emotion, said, "Ah, I'm so glad Ethan went with them." At that moment, Ethan turned towards the audience, wide-eyed with wonderment. Christopher turned away, as tears filled his eyes. "Mom, I don't know how I'm going to get through this." A moment later, both of us teary-eyed walked the aisle together. I took my seat, and the groom stood waiting for his bride.

Wedding Week 1

What a whirlwind of week long wedding events! The happy honeymooners have set sail, cruising in the Caribbean.

Memories were made. Families were merged. The wedding was wonderful.

Love Stories

Mary over at Owlhaven declared October as Love Story month. She is in the midst of sharing her story, as are others like Jenni at One Thing. As I mention this, I am watching an October Love Story unfold. Christopher and Lauren's wedding is THIS FRIDAY! To say this week is busy is a complete understatement. I hope to share more soon, but I may be absent a lot.

In the meantime, I was looking back to when I posted how Michael and I met. Funny, it was at this time of year in 2006 that I shared. October must mysteriously fill the air with feelings of love and marriage. Here are the links to our story:

Toast & Water

First Date

Maybe one of these days I'll finish, and catch up to the time just prior to the toast and water.

Quick Update

My mom might be going home today! The doctor didn't place any stents and believes he can treat her with medication. All of the other tests have come back normal. The only one left is an EEG scheduled for this morning and if all is well, after 9 days confined to the hospital, she will go home.

Mom is typically a vivacious, innovative, very involved, busy person. She works, volunteers, and amidst her creative arts, doesn't have time for boredom. Mom lives life to the fullest. It's been difficult to see her feeling so badly she could hardly do anything the past 2 months.

After the wedding, I just might make another trip to Arizona to spend time with my parents.

I Hate Waiting

I'm sitting here on pins & needles. I hate waiting. My mom is having an angiogram done at this moment. She is 1000 miles away. Mom has been in the hospital for a week now. She has battled "this thing" for nearly 2 months. (Although it might have begun back in May.)

I might have told you that the doctors at another hospital have seen her 6 or 7 times, sending her home with high blood pressure. They diagnosed her as having panic attacks. I didn't believe that for one minute. Something was wrong.

Her own doctors were not treating this serious. They played this shuffle game, passing her back and forth from doctor to doctor as if whatever was going on was not their specialty. That was one of the reasons I went to see her last month. Only I didn't actually ever talk to her primary doctor. She had too many emergencies and passed my mom off to the PA.

This new hospital has been wonderful, running ever test imaginable, but coming up with "normal" on virtually everything. They moved her out of the cardiac unit telling her she didn't have a heart problem. On sort of a whim, her internist ordered a stress test. The cardiologist tried to talk her out of it, saying he didn't think it was necessary.

Last night, the cardiologist came in and told her there was a blockage and he wanted to go in and do an angiogram/possible a stent or whatever was necessary. He was shocked at the stress test. He said every heart test that had been performed on her was perfectly normal. It makes sense now that the other hospital diagnosed her with having anxiety attacks. I've heard that women sometimes present with these type of symptoms when they are having heart problems. They usually have a fatal heart attack because they aren't diagnosed properly.

Ugh! Did I mention how much I hate waiting??? The procedure was supposed to take 1 hour. It has been an hour and a half. Can't someone at least phone and say, "she isn't out yet, we don't know what is taking so long," rather than just leave me, waiting?

Thank-you to all of you who have prayed.

Oh, and the wedding is a week from today. My mom and dad won't make it. I'm so sad.

I've Lost Something

I must be losing my mind, or something. I wrote a post yesterday. It published. Today I see nothing but an empty spot. The funny thing is, the post went something like this:

Have you ever set a timer, heard it go off, & then wondered what in the world it was for?

So if you run across something that looks like a missing piece of a puzzle, send it to me. It must be part of my mind.

Trains & Boy Things

Thomas the Train was at the train museum this weekend. I didn't get a single photo of Thomas, but here are a few I took.

Ethan was excited about the firetruck, but nervous about being put in front of one.

The bus ride from the parking lot might have been his favorite part.


(No, I'm not advertising for Coors.) But look at that Colorado sky!

Grandpa & Ethan on the train.

Ethan & Christina

Can Someone Explain This???

My mother-in-law went to the hospital last night around 1 a.m. Her blood pressure was 190/125. Sometime during her ambulance drive, her blood pressure dropped back to normal, as did her heart rate. The ER doctor admitted her in order to run tests to see WHY her blood pressure spiked like that.


My own mother has had the paramedics take her to the hospital on 2 different occasions with her blood pressure over 200. Dad's also taken her to the ER with her blood pressure sky high (while on several blood pressure medications.) Each time they've sent her home without ever getting her blood pressure lower than 170/85. Nor have they ever admitted her to try to see why this is happening. What is wrong with this picture???

I'll stop my rant here, as I could go on all day.

So does anyone else negotiate with onesself besides me? I play the game, "I'm not going to do 'A' until I've done '1,2,3." This translates to: I will not post on my blog until I've checked 3 things off of my to-do list. It is a means of motivating myself to accomplish the tasks I don't really want to finish. As you've no doubt surmised by my lack of posts, it isn't working. My to-do list is getting longer, not shorter.

I have missed being here! Today I tried a new tactic. I put "posting on blog" at the top of my to-do list. I'm so happy. I now have 1 item crossed off of the list. I feel better already.

Today Is Your Day

Sometimes it just isn't your day. Surely it was yours today, as it certainly wasn't mine. Let's see how my day went:


I was making Hilary's lunch and realized the turkey didn't smell so appetizing. She really likes turkey and Monday is my grocery shopping day. (Who am I kidding? I go every day. Ugh!) Hope she wasn't too disappointed. (She phoned on the way to school. The gas light was on. She hasn't driven that car since Thursday. Who drove it last????)


I decided to take a photograph of the dress I bought over the weekend. I am still looking for the perfect dress to wear to the wedding. I told the bride I'd send her a picture. After putting on the dress & thinking it was a little snug, I promptly dropped the camera and broke it.


I noticed one of the stones in my wedding ring was loose. It needed to be cleaned and inspected this month anyway, in order to keep the extended warranty valid. Wanting to have the ring back in time for the wedding, I went to the Jewelers to have it fixed. To my dismay, the jewelry shop is going out of business. You can't be serious?! But they were. They wouldn't even clean it. I can ship my ring off to a company who will honor the warranty. But what guarantee do I have that it will arrive and that I will get it back????


At the mall, I noticed this cute stuffed monkey. Elisabeth thought it would be fun to dress up for Halloween as the (wo)man in the yellow hat, but she needed a Curious George to go with the outfit. I pulled my phone out to take a picture. If she loved it, I'd buy it. Only my phone said I didn't have enough memory left to take a picture. Then it went haywire and all of my photos and songs disappeared. I tried hooking it up to my computer when I arrived home. The computer kept telling me to insert a disc. I wanted to scream.


I half expected to see my car with a big dent or something. Did I mention one of my daughter-in-laws' clients was arrested over the weekend for murdering a smoke shop owner?


One of the reasons I am not coping well is I have a rib out-of-place. It is very painful. Last Thursday the chiropractor taped it for support. For 2 days, sleeping and moving was blissful. After the tape came off, things began slipping fast. So I went back to the chiropractor I went. After therapy and such, he adjusted my ribs. "There," he proclaimed, "how does that feel? It should feel much better." And it would have, had he not been on the wrong side of my rib cage.
He wasn't on his game today either.

At the grocery store I knocked 2 containers of yogurt out of the refrigerator case. Those little foil lids split open splattering the gooey white substance everywhere, including my shoes. I wanted to cry.

Michael was sitting at the computer as I told him of my woes. Something fell to the ground. It was his mouse, and the little scrolly ball rolled down the driveway. My off day is apparently contagious.

Quick, move away from this page before you are infected too. This has to be somebody's day, so let it be yours.

This & That

Have I mentioned the incredible man I'm married to? Yesterday he went golfing. I dropped him off and picked him up. While I drive around in a cute, fun, fast little car, he doesn't have one at all (most of the time.) Last year we foolishly thought we'd only have 1 kid living at home. We have 3. That means 4 vehicles & 5 drivers. Someone doesn't have a car. But what a guy to let his girls all drive while he goes without! (Truthfully, I think he enjoys being driven around in a cute car, by his lovely wife.)

Thanks for the comments, concerns, & prayers for my mom and nephew. Geoff had his ear sewn back on, his face stitched up, his fractured cheek is healing nicely, which only leaves his gimp shoulder to be fixed.

My mom is not doing a lot better. She has been waiting over 2 weeks to see a specialist. Are we sure we don't have socialized medicine??? I wish I lived in town with her. I'd have insisted they get her in sooner. Even if it took me going to their office every single day asking, I would do it. They'd get tired of seeing me. I would be like the widow who wearied the unjust judge by her continual requests for his help. (Luke 18:1-8)

The wedding is fast approaching and I hope very much my mom and dad will be here. I'm afraid it will be a whirlwind of activities but I truly want to enjoy every minute of it. (I'll let you know if I'm able to do that.)

I'm getting tired of seeing unfinished posts in my draft box. Maybe I will get to those soon. Oh my word! Is it really almost Fall???

Bridal Shower

Lauren, Christina, Sarabeth, Elisabeth

Homecoming

David & Hilary

Did I mention Christopher was here for the weekend?

Christina, Sarabeth, Hilary, David, Christopher, Elisabeth

Ethan didn't want to be in the picture, but I snuck him in as he rode by.

The Parents (after a long day.)

Nights In Rodanthe

Michael and I have a date night coming up. I was perusing Mile High Mama's when I noticed a drawing for tickets to the premiere of Nights in Rodanthe. I'd seen the previews, commenting to my hubby how much I'd like to see it. So I entered the contest. I won! Today I not only received tickets to the premier but a copy of Nicholas Sparks book. How awesome is that? I can't remember when Michael and I last went to a movie together. I'll let you know what I think on September 24th! If you're wondering what moms in the Mile High City are like, you might want to check out Mile High Mama's.

I Am Alive

I didn't mean to leave you all hanging from my last post. I have 5 posts sitting in my drafts box yet uncompleted. I hope to finish them at some point.

My Monday Menu should be up at Recipes4Me

I almost have my kitchen completed. Michael finished hanging the cabinet doors yesterday. I tried to get a photo yesterday but it was cloudy and rainy. Having a darker color doesn't show the beauty in poor lighting. But I love them and my new floor. I'm just not sure why or how home projects grow as soon as we are in the midst of them. Is it just me or does this happen to everyone???

I'll post better photos later, but this give you an idea. Here is a better pic of the color on the doors:
I spent most of last week painting Hilary's room. She wanted pink of some sort. We went with Flaming Flamingo, or something close to that. That project grew too. Remember this room? It isn't finished yet either. But here is a preview, and yes, I will get the blinds up in the windows. I ran into a problem with that too.
Doesn't flaming flamingo describe it well? I'm off to scrub the pink off my arms, legs, fingernails, etc.

Things Happen

Sigh. Can I just sigh big sighs over and over???

My trip to Arizona was mostly because I hadn't been there in 20 months. On top of that, my mom has been having some medical issues. I am not happy with the care that she has received from the medical professionals. They seem rather incompetent.

I questioned whether or not I should be returning home. (I had so hoped my home projects would be finished. You know, the ones started a month ago.) But nope. Not done. My sister phoned the day after I returned to let me know I'd made a good choice. Mom was doing great. Two hours later, she called to say the paramedics were taking mom to the hospital as soon as she was stable. Both sisters and my brother were there.

One sister had to leave to pick up kids from school. The other got a call that her son had an accident. He was in the ER 2 1/2 hours away. The plastic surgeon would be there shortly. Could she make it by then? (This is the sister that reassured me I did well going home, but maybe it was because I was staying at her home.) Maybe she really just didn't like me using her hand towels the way I did, lol.

I have a LOT to say about the upcoming election, but will save it for another post.

(Note to self: After filling the crockpot in the morning, always check to make sure it is turned on. Hours later after working on a project that feels like it will never be finished, a completed meal will be a nice change from a slow cooker that is cold with food sitting uncooked.)

Houseguest

What is the saying about fish & houseguests? After 3 days...something about the stench.

Last Wednesday, as I contemplated taking a road trip alone to the desert heat of Arizona, I received a call. My sister thought it silly for me to drive. She works for an airline. Michael thought I was nuts too. He figured out the cost of gas for my trip, added it to the extra 2 days travel time to drive and shook his head in amazement at my stubborness. People. I really LIKE driving my car.

My sister was convincing. Her phone call was placed at 11:00a.m. I was at the airport by 4:30p.m. While waiting to board the plane, I quickly phoned my other sister to inquire about her guest room. I can't remember the last time I stayed at Carolyn's home. Not only do my sisters, brother & parents live in Phoenix, but my son does too. (He happens to be living in the grandparent's spare bedroom.) A spare bedroom. Imagine that! With 5 children, an extra bedroom exists only in my dreams. (Ok, now that 2 kids live elsewhere, I do have a spare bedroom. It is decorated with Spiderman & Transformers, reserved for Ethan.)

Carolyn graciously extended her hospitality. The next morning, after enjoying a good cup of coffee and catching up with my sister, I hopped in the shower. I completely forgot about the linen closet in the hallway. I pulled back the shower curtain. Hmm...this would not do. In case you can't see, there is a hook hanging very nicely. That is where my towel should be hanging. I am clueless when it comes to guest bathrooms.

Considering the very real possibility of having to drip dry, I scanned the horizon for any other option. Besides a single roll of toilet paper, I found a solution:

I really should have tried harder to lose weight before making this trip. How does one explain to her hostess the puddles of water and the wrung out, wrinkled, soaking wet hand towel?

I hope my sister lets me stay again. I really don't like being compared to fish. Fish like water.

Swimming Anyone?

I'm having Ethan withdrawals. (And would you look at that sky!?)

Democratic National Convention

The DNC is in Denver. I am not. I escaped the madness.

Fwd: To Whom It May Concern

Are you a person who loves to forward emails of anecdotal stories, political statements, feel-good poems, and the like? Can you enjoy the sentiment of a story without regards to whether or not it is accurate?

If that is the case, you are welcome to forward these to me. But I am not one of the aforementioned people. If a story is inaccurate or contains erroneous information, I will reply to your email with proper corrections. (Have you noticed the screen name I use for posting?) If the language or joke is crude or vulgar, I will inform you of its offensive nature. Or if I disagree with the intent of the email, I most likely will address that also.

If you do not appreciate correction, are offended by my response, and merely want to enjoy the feelings of satisfaction the forwarded email brings to you, then please do not send me forwarded emails. It will save me the time spent researching and writing a response & your hurt feelings will be spared.

Sincerely,
Truth

Happy Birthday Lauren!

Lauren, in just 52 days, you will officially be joining the family. I'm so excited to welcome you as my one and only daughter-in-law. Love you, and have a very happy birthday!!!

Monday Menu

(This is posted to Recipes4me also)
Every Monday Mylinda posts her menu. I'm finally joining her! It originates from I'm An Organizing Junkie

Saturday:
Chicken Taco Soup, Salad with Tomatoes & Avocado

Sunday:
Ham w/Scalloped Potatoes, Fresh Fruit, Bread Sticks

Monday:
Chicken Pasta w/Spinach & Sundried Tomatoes, French Bread

Tuesday:
Easy Chicken Stir-Fry, Rice, Pot Stickers

Wednesday:
Shredded Beef Tacos, Lettuce, Tomato, Sour Cream, Guacamole, Chips & Salsa, Refried Beans

Thursday: Honey Glazed Chicken, Potato Wedges, Salad, Roasted Asparagus with Balsamic Vinegar

Saturday:
Grilled Pork, Grilled Pineapple Slices, Refried Beans, Corn on the Cob

The House Where I Dwell (Part 1)

My house is in a diastrous state. One of the bedrooms looks like this:


I've been waiting to update pics of my "new" kitchen. But it isn't finished. Here is a bit of an update:



I'm using my kitchen again, but there are no drawers. The cabinets are doorless, leaving their insides exposed. But the worst part isn't in these photos. It is the stuff that is all around me. The contents emptied from the bedroom and kitchen are stacked about the other rooms. Add to that the normal, everyday clutter and it is a wreck. I can't take it much longer. I want to run screaming from here.

It's funny. We moved into this new-to-us home nearly 16 years ago. At the time it was gently used, but lovely. Each wall was perfectly papered. But over time, the reality of paneled walls began exposing their true nature. Cracks, flaws, and weak areas began to appear.

This old house was built back in 1962. Hmm...same year as this here body of mine. It creaks and groans about the same as the wooden floors in my house. Nevertheless, this is my home. I live here. What I can't figure out is how did so much junk get in here?

Lingerie Again?

Kellan has me as a guest blogger at On The Flipside today. I'm honored. In order to preserve some dignity for my son, and in case you all missed his comment, I'm including it here.

Christopher said...
Verbatim:
mom:"ok this is a little bit awkward but I just got the invite to Lauren's lingerie shower. Any requests?"

Son:"mom what the! I want you to go, and i want you to get her something, but I most certainly am not going to talk about my likes and dislikes of lingerie with you."

She didn't just ask preference, she asked for requests. Silly mom.

The funny thing is, when I spoke with Lauren, she had no problem talking lingerie with her future mother-in-law.

Anyway, Kellan asks the question "Do you think men care about what lingerie women wear or is it really only the woman that cares?" Go check it out and let her know what your opinion is. I'm surprised by the responses I've read so far.

I'm not a clever title creator

Last night after dinner:

Me: Hilary, wouldn't you like to buy your lunch tomorrow, for the first day of schoool?

Michael: Why don't you buy your lunch every day? If you did, your mom wouldn't have to get up so early.


Hilary: But then who would make my breakfast?

Laughter.

Michael: I can't believe we just had this conversation.

Morning came way too early today, but later than expected. I awoke to Hilary's gentle nudge, "mom, what can I have for breakfast?" My alarm hadn't gone off. I'd been so careful to set it. The power has gone off 3 times in the past week. While the alarm was set correctly, the clock wasn't. Sigh. Not the best way to start a new school year. Since I'd only been up 15 minutes by the time she left for school, I was tempted to sneak back in bed. Mommy guilt wouldn't let me.

Is it me or was summer vacation way too short?

Cheated

I feel cheated. Most summers I enjoy doing laundry. Short sleeves & sleeveless shirts, shorts instead of pants...the clothes are smaller, so less of them to wash. During winter, it is difficult to jam the many layers of clothing into the same amount of wash loads. Hoodies and sweat pants are the items I detest the most. I wait for summer to arrive when thick, heavy clothing disappears from the laundry baskets. The hampers overflow in the cold months. Summers allow them to air out. Come Fall, they are fresh and ready to be stuffed again. Except this summer.

For some reason, the people in this house can not agree on the perfect temperature. While one sweats in the sweltering 73 degrees, another wraps herself in a blanket-while wearing the dreaded hoodie. I've also had to wash the throw blankets several times this summer. Normally I put them away at the end of spring. What's with all of the clothes and blankets? We've had record heat here, people! Why are we wearing sweats and hoodies???? Oh yeah, I forgot. We installed air conditioning last year. A blessing & a curse?

Do You Understand?

I understand why you yelled. Really, I do. You were afraid. The person, to whom you screamed, lives with that fear every day. Your words cut deeply into her heart. I forgive you. I hope she can too.

Right before that incident, she & I were talking. My friend is hurting. She really wanted to sit down, have a cup of coffee, and talk. She is alone. She spends her days fighting the battle that caused such a strong reaction from you. It's this battle that creates a greater need for friendship & companionship. But this is also what scares others away, isolating her all the more.

I hurt for my friend, my daughter, my child. I wish you hadn't added to her pain. Or her fear.

Apologize. Pour her a cup of coffee. Listen to what she has to say.

Thunk Thursday

Posted outside one of the rollercoasters at the amusement park.

I can ride, no recent surgrys here.

Lingerie

An invitation arrived in the mail. A Lingerie Shower.

The intention of a bridal shower is to aid the newlywed couple as they establish their own home The lingerie concept enables the bride to ditch her old, tattered, worn-out undergarments for pretty, new ones. Afterall, the new hubby will soon be privy to every hidden article of clothing his lovely bride could previously hide.

Or do young ladies today not keep tattered underwear and desire more, um, exotic under clothes and night wear? Years ago, we had two choices in underwear: briefs or bikini cut. That's it. With such variety, I figured I should ask what the preference might be. Surely there could be no embarrassment. The invitation already listed a bra & panty size. But wait, maybe the groom should get an opinion. I sent a text message to my son, Christopher.

"I know this is awkward, but I'm going shopping for Lauren's Lingerie Shower. Do you have any preference?" I waited for his reply.

"Mom. There is no way I'm going to discuss lingerie preferences with you."

I laughed and laughed. I suppose this is not unlike the shocking realization that your parents have had sex at least once in their lives.

Kitchen In A Bubble

My kitchen in its transformation stage:







After Day 2, I wished I'd gotten more things out of my cupboards. After Day , I wanted in my refrigerator. Today, I'm disappointed that I won't have my kitchen back until next week. Sigh. It will be a long weekend.

Thunk Thursday

This is blurry, so in case you can't read it-this is a "Nail Dry Station"

1. To start, place hands in dryer.
(I'll place mine under, thank-you.)

4. Fan will shut off automatically when you move out of your hands...
(As soon as I figure out how to get out of my hands, I'll let you know if it stops.)

Christopher's Birth Story.

Back around July 11th, I promised to tell Christopher's birth story. I'm finally getting around to it.

Twenty-four years ago, I was expecting my second child. We'd moved to Colorado and I was feeling very far away from family. On April 1st, at 26 weeks, we shared the happy news with our parents. Shortly thereafter, my parents revealed their own surprise. They were about to embark on a 2 year teaching assignment to Germany. The plan was for them to leave the beginning of August. My baby was due July 5th.

Knowing they'd miss his first couple of years, my parents flew out for his birth. A week later, taking 3 year old Christina with them, my parents flew home. No baby. Three days later, my inlaws brought Christina back to wait for Christopher to be born.

I went to the doctor July 10th. He declared I was ready and could have the baby anytime. I was dilated to 4 cm. That was good news, but still no baby. The next morning, after having contractions for 2 days straight, I decided I was tired of waiting. At 9:00a.m., we headed to the hospital.

Surprise. I was 4 cm. dilated. Nothing had changed. My doctor, who likes things done in a timely fashion, assured me that by breaking my water, I'd have the baby quickly. I was hesitant. I couldn't help but think how cushy that bag of water was. Once that nice water pillow was popped, the cushion was gone. It would be bone against bone. NOT my idea of comfort. I yielded anyway. I wanted the baby born.

Just as I thought. The contraction following the bursting of my water bag was very painful. The next one was worse. And oh my, I couldn't take it anymore. Doctor Snyder suggested I get an epidural. I remembered the Demerol from my 1st labor. No, no, no he convincingly said, this is completely different. This doesn't just take the edge off. This magical drug will cause you to completely relax and feel no pain.

I was skeptical. If that was true, why didn't I get one before.?I trusted my doctor and I was desperate. I gave in to his offer for relief. I waited for this wonder drug to kick in and provide some calm before the storm. I waited. And waited. My peace never arrived.

Instead, I believe the drug put my baby in distress. His heartrate began dropping.
The oxygen mask went over my face. The room quickly filled with people. I have no idea who they all were. Students? Doctors? I don't know, but I felt like I was center stage at some fancy theatrical performance only I wasn't properly dressed. I was poked, prodded, twisted and contorted to find a place that "baby was happy." I was ordered to begin pushing.

I pushed with all I had. Some woman had the audacity to tell my I wasn't trying hard enough. She said I wasn't holding my breath and wanted another person to "help" me hold my breath. I was in tears. Everything hurt. I felt like I wasn't going to make it. My doctor said, "we need to get this baby out NOW!" With that, he proceeded to perform another lovely procedure-an episiotomy. I had no problem with this, except when he went to cut, YEOW!!!! He was certain I wasn't really feeling pain. I only thought I was feeling pain because I could see what he was doing. They put a drape up so I wouldn't know when he was making the cut.

Nope, that was not the problem. I think when I screamed, he believed me and numbed the area before he continued. As soon as he was done, he grabbed the forceps and attempted to pull my baby out. As he pulled, I felt as if something was turning me inside out. I cannot describe the intense pain. Not being able to get a good enough grip, the doctor added metal extenders onto the forceps. I wish I had a photo, as I sometimes have a hard time believing this really happened. Michael later told me he was very scared. As he watched the doctor tug, twist, and pull, he feared his baby's head would pop right off.

At 4:56p.m my son appeared. His face and head were quite bruised, but he was in one piece. Christopher was born 7/11/84 and weighed 7lbs 7 oz.

Shortly after Christopher's birth, I went numb from the waist down. Nice, but a little too late. I was told by my nurse that my doctor was out in the hall chewing out the anesthesiologist who'd conveniently disappeared after my failed epidural. The following day he told me the birth had been difficult but he'd worked with me since I'd been so adamant against a c-section. "But"he added, "I'd never do it again." I think he was as traumatized as we were.

I truly believe had it not been for a friend who attended the birth and prayed throughout the delivery, things would not have turned out so well. But one look into Christopher's eyes and all was forgotten. We were blessed with a son.

1st Day of Kindergarten

Mary at Owlhaven is having a Land's End Backpack giveaway. In order to enter, she asked us to post a memory from a 1st day of school. So here is what I remember from my 1st day of kindergarten.

I had watched my older brother and sister go to school every day. I was so excited to be joining them. Although I knew the route to walk, my mom drove me that first day. She stopped in front of the building.

"Are you sure you want to walk home?" Mom queried.
"Yes, I want to walk home. I know the way."

I got out of the car, looked both ways before crossing, then walked across to the very large building. The steps leading up to the doors looked much steeper than they ever had from the car, but I climbed them anyway.

There it was. The kindergarten room. Mrs. Preston, with her white hair pulled back in a bun, stood at the door greeting the children. I found my desk, opened it up, and placed my nickel inside. The nickel was for a carton of milk that we got from the janitor.

It was a busy first day. We said the pledge of Allegiance, played on the blacktop playground at recess, took a nap afterwards, sang songs, & had a snack. When it was time to go, we lined up in two lines. Boys in one, girls in the other. We then went over all of the safety rules, since most everyone walked home from school.

Look both ways before crossing the street.
Walk on the left, facing traffic.

Then it was time to go. Out the building, down the steps, and those of us going East turned left. Before us was a huge hill. It wasn't as thrilling to walk home as I thought it would be. I didn't remember that I would be walking alone by the time I reached the crest.

Down the hill, turn right, past the Reverend's home, then left. Up the long street towards the Catholic school...I was getting tired. Home was still pretty far. It was hot. I had took off my blue sweater and began tying it around my waist. I wondered how I could get home faster. Just as I tightened the arms of my sweater to keep it from slipping, I had a wonderful idea. I took it off, laid it on the ground. Sitting down on the soft fabric, I closed my eyes and imagined flying the rest of the way home on my magic carpet.

With my eyes still squeezed shut, I said the only magic words I knew, "abra cadabra, fly magic carpet, fly me home." And I waited. I'm not sure how long I sat there waiting in the street. There was no sidewalk at this point of my journey.

Later that day, my sister and brother told me of the shortcuts when walking, after they laughed at the long way I'd gone. I was glad I hadn't mentioned my not-so-magic carpet.

Blogger Award

I'm slow in getting to this, but here goes. I received this blogger award from Jewels at Pursuing "Happily Ever After." What a pleasant surprise! (And you all know how much I enjoy a surprise.) Now that I'm thinking about it, blog comments are have the same treasured quality. I don't blog to get comments, but what a delightful surprise when I find them.



Here is what Jewels wrote on the award: Joanne from "Piece of the Puzzle": I like to stop by her blog to hear about her family---she is so proud of them! She sees the blessings all around her and celebrates each one. When dealt a lemon, Joanne can certainly make lemonade out of it. And she has a great sense of humor as well.

The rules given to me: Put the logo on your blog. Put a link to me (who awarded it to you) on your blog also. You need to nominate 7 other bloggers for the award and put links to them also on your blog. Finally, leave a comment for those you've nominated - so they know they've received a special award.

1) Lisa at The Funny Farm Lisa is a sweet & caring online friend. Her blog reflects both her kindness and also the humor that makes life manageable. She has one very special daughter that she homeschools and does that well.

2) Tammy at PB4UGO Tammy blogs about a variety of things. Her humor comes naturally and sometimes unexpectedly. Her cups runs over and she's happy to share, so get your cup out.

3) Mylinda at The Buggy Crew-Always upbeat and encouraging. Mylinda reminds me of a country wife who gives a lot & is hardworking. I love Mondays as she shares her menu for the week, one of these days I'll join her in this. I'm challenged to go that extra step.

4) His Girl-His girl is reflective and meditative. This doesn't keep her from being fun and spunky. She shares from her heart. But often, I can't comment on her blog as I need time to reflect on what she has said. By the time I return, she's added more food for thought.

5) Melanie at Dandelions & Roses (Private Blog) Melanie is full of energy. I have no idea how she manages all that she does, but she makes it sound easy. She is also a fabulous cook. Her blog may be private, but she has a food blog that serves up one delicious dish after the other.

6) Kate at Life With Special Needs Kids (her blog is private) Kate is an articulate, compassionate person. I wish she'd run for a political office. She has courage and the backbone to make things happen. She is a genius too, wiser than someone twice her age. Kate has lots to say and is worth listening to.

7) Lori at View From My Porch Swing (whose blog is also private)-Lori has a creative flair and is certainly gifted in many things. She fills her life with beauty and grace. The love she pours into her family is evident in the photos she shares. Beautiful, smiling faces adorn her blog. Lori is an inspiration to large families and families with special children.

Wow, I didn't realize I read so many private blogs. I have so much enjoyed not only these ladies, but so many others (and yes, I probably need to update the blogs that I read on my sidebar.) I enjoy sharing in your lives and you all help me to grow as you inspire and encourage me.

And thank-you to all who comment, you truly are a treasured surprise!!!

One Last Photo

This was one of the many rollercoasters we rode yesterday. I LOVE rollercoasters. (I take after my grandmother.) In case you can't tell, starting in the front is: Elisabeth, Sarabeth, Hilary, & David. I was in the car just in front of them. We had a great time!

Thunk Thursday

Posted in the car wash.

Having fun today.

Feelings of Inadequacy

The past few days have left me wondering if I am a real mother. Today I took one 6 year old boy to the grocery store. I needed just a few things: milk, ham steaks, & parsley (I killled what was growing in my garden.) At the grocery store, I was distracted and harried. I forgot the milk. I walked in the house shaking my head. I asked Michael how in the world I ever took 5 kids grocery shopping week after week without losing my head.

I have had Ethan since very early Thursday morning. His mom is out-of-town until tomorrow night. He has made amazing progress in school and therapy. This should make my job easier, right? He communicates in so many ways. He is using sign language again. Ethan looks at me and gestures with his hands.

"What do you need, little buddy?"

He keeps signing. Over and over because I don't get it. I have no idea what this sign is. He says something to me sounding as if he is fluent in a foreign language. But I don't speak this language. Nobody speaks his language. He continues to plead with me via hand motions. I don't know what he is saying. I hear the frustration in his voice. I begin offering him things. Juice, toys, anything I can think of. He begins melting down. He screams. He throws his transformer car across the room. He grabs the first thing he can reach, a DVD. He bites down hard, leaving teeth marks in the disc.

I don't blame him. He has no way to make me understand. I have no idea how to parent him in my daughter's absence. I don't know how to grandparent him at this moment. I fall to my knees. It's the only place I know to go. I feel so inadequate. Caring for a child shouldn't be this difficult.

Break In

Elisabeth went to dinner with a friend last evening. When she returned to her car, she noticed something on her seat. It was her car registration from the glove box. Something was amiss. Sitting on the dash was an empty hole. Her car stereo was missing. Items from the console were strewn about.

It was 7:30p.m. when she came out of the restaurant. It was daylight. The area of town she was parked is a busy, active place. People coming and going, standing around. Nobody saw anything unusual. This is the same car that was attacked 3 years ago. And the same driver.

This was tough for Elisabeth. It felt like another personal assault.

Thunk!

Am I the only one who shakes my head in confusion as to why closer attention isn't paid to grammar/spelling/proper English when marketing a product in the United States? I understand that much of what is shipped here, comes from countries where English is not their native language. How difficult would it be to have someone proofread an item?

Or what about a sign that is printed and posted at a business with misspellings? Does the printer not notice the error and ask the purchaser of said item? Having a sign printed costs money, do those buying the item not care if it is printed incorrectly. Did they notice?

I've decided to post photos under my Thunk Awards. Here is the first one:

P.S. Just because this grammar thing on signage is a pet peeve, I do not claim to check my blogposts for spelling/grammar/proper English errors. But if I was selling a product, I'd hire an editor.

Six

Six is such a nice number. A half dozen. Lots of things come in a pack of 6, like soda. And who doesn't think six-pack abs are nice? Six Flags Amusement parks are packed with fun. But the very best thing about the number six happens today. Today is Ethan's 6th birthday. We celebrated yesterday.

I do believe this was his best birthday ever. Ethan blew out his candles for the very first time. (Well, at least 3 of them.) I had no idea he'd acquired this skill.

(This video is only 16 seconds.)

I attempted to order a Transformers cake, but the bakery didn't make any without milk. I could bake my own cake and they agreed to decorate it. Great! Did they have icing without milk? ButterCream wouldn't work, but their non-dairy whipped icing would. Upon further inspection I realized the non-dairy icing contained milk. But the buttercream icing contained no butter. I decided to make it all myself.

Hilary came to the rescue and decorated the cake for me.

Ethan was one excited 6 year old. Transformers ruled the day.

Happy Birthday to my favorite 6 year old!

After Birthday Post

After reading His Girl's "shallow observations" on Christopher's birthday post, I decided to upload the video his sister's created for him. She might see things differently. (I have no idea why my kids do what they do. I don't make silly faces, but maybe I wear ridiculous hats.)

Happy Birthday Christopher!!!!

Happy 24th Christopher. This is the last birthday you will celebrate as Christopher. Next year it will be as Mr. & Mrs.

Over the next few days, I'm planning to share your birth story. I don't have much time today. I'm taking your sister to her college orientation, like you and I went, just 5 short years ago.

How did we get from here:

to here:

running to here:

biking to there:

zooming past 6th grade to here:

Ooops, I mean here as Uncle Chris:

and landing here:

and staying here:

I'm out of time, but I want you to know how proud I am of you son. You have one terrific future wife and she has an amazing soon-to-be husband. May this birthday find you radiating with the knowledge of how very much you are loved. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, your kindness, your work ethic, the way you encourage everyone around you, and your positive attitude. I could go on about your many good qualities, but I gotta run. Happy 24th Birthday Christopher. Love, Mom

Falling

Whenever I hear about an older person falling, it scares me. I worry about my inlaws falling. My dad wrenched his ankle recently going downstairs. A couple of years ago, my mom stepped off a curb, fell, and tore her rotator cuff. My grandmother fell taking out the trash. She never recovered and that fall cut short her life.

I watch a baby takes her first steps. She tumbles more than she stands, but bounces back to her feet. Sure she gets an occasional bump or bruise, but mostly it is no big deal. Adults do have farther to fall, but as we age, we no longer bounce. It is more like a thud.

I fell almost 2 weeks ago. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I lost my balance and came crashing down. I continue to have a residual headache which causes me to feel out of it almost daily. Last week I blamed feeling like this on having workers in my home, but I think it was the headache that made it difficult to deal with their banging. I've been especially forgetful.

I missed meeting with an online friend who was in town. I didn't remember the date.

I feel old.

Ethan's EEG Results

Ethan had his neuro appointment. Christina liked the new nurse practioner. No seizures were seen on his EEG, but it did show abnormal brain activity. This was interpreted as: the medication is keeping the seizures in check, otherwise he'd be having lots of seizures throughout the day. Good news? Bad news? I'm taking it as good news.


One of the reasons for the latest EEG, besides that he was due for one, is his OT wanted the information. She is excited about a new therapy she recently learned about at a conference. She feels Ethan is a perfect candidate. She has used this new technique with him twice, with amazing results. But in order to take it further, it was imperative to know whether or not he was having seizures. Hopefully, the latest results will not hinder him from receiving this promising therapy.


We had a rather quiet 4th of July. My inlaws were here for dinner, as were Christina & Ethan. Just 6 of us. Oh so quiet. Ok, quiet is not really the right descriptive word, as Ethan can be oh so busy. Independance Day is a day for celebrating. We have much to be thankful for in this country. Fireworks, Family, Fun, Food. Sounds Fabulous to me.

Here are a few photos taken after Sarabeth arrived home from work.









Ethan loved the sparklers. This was the first year he really got into fireworks. He clapped, cheered, & kept signing please for some more. If I'd had any idea, I'd have bought more. Next year I will. And maybe, more than 2 of my kids will show up.

The Tyrant

I've never been one who is terribly organized. For years, I created these wonderfully detailed schedules that were ridiculously impossible to follow. But when I don't at least try, I become a victim to the urgency of the moment. And I miss out on truly important things. I hate that.

Sometimes the urgent things come by way of a phone call, the desire to check something out on the internet, or even a walk to the mailbox. I get caught up in the busyness of those around me and accomplish nothing seemingly worthwhile.

Today I wasn't terribly motivated to do the things that needed to be accomplished. But it wasn't that I was distracted by so many things. I was tired. I didn't go to sleep last night until 5 this morning.

I was on my way to bed around 1 a.m., but Elisabeth came in and was having severe back pain. After chastising her for not taking better care of herself, making her feel worse, I realized her pain was at the point of warranting a trip to the Emergency Room.

Have I mentioned I don't go anywhere without having my hair done and makeup on. Seriously, I don't even walk to the mailbox. But last night I'd already washed my face and was ready for some Zzzz's by the time we decided to go. For the first time that I can remember, I put my clothes on and off we went. Without a drop of makeup. And I survived. (Could my obsession with my hair/makeup routine be a tyrant of sorts?)

The ER at 2 in the morning is an interesting place. The thin curtain separating the beds allows one to peak into the lives of others who have arrived at this same place. The reasons for being there are varied. The language can be crude. I couldn't help but overhear the sordid details of the girl behind the curtain's life, the drugs she used, her injury and the breakup with her loser boyfriend-her words edited. The little lady who came in on a gurney because she was caring for her 91 year old husband when she fell. When she couldn't get up, he managed to drop a phone on her head, and the laceration was bleeding profusely. What was her husband doing with a phone at 3 in the morning?

Okay, I think I'm getting distracted. This is why I need to create more of a schedule to my life. I hate routines, but distraction is a terrible tyrant. I've lost much time to it.

Summer Is Here

I woke up to loud banging this morning. It was expected, but still seemed harsh as it invaded the dream I was happily enjoying.

I don't like having strangers working inside my home. And to have them here, in my kitchen, before I've had one cup of coffee? Horrors! This wouldn't happen during the school year, but it is summer here people. I slept in. I was reading last night until quite late.

Yesterday was demolition day. I'm getting a new kitchen floor, but the old 3 layers of floor had to be ripped out first. The noise and dust made it impossible to blog. I couldn't go to the grocery store as I had no access to my refrigerator. Sigh. What was I supposed to do? Seemed like the perfect opportunity to get my nails painted for the 4th of July. In years past I've enjoyed decorating fingernails on my girls with splashes of fireworks, stripes of red, white, or blue. I'm patriotic like that. I came home with blue, yes blue as in the color on the flag blue.

Oh, and I picked up the new Guitar Hero Game that came out on Sunday. Before I began reading last night, I tried it out. Can you believe my kids were all gone (except the one who doesn't play) and I had to play alone? For 3 hours. Then I sat and read.

(Seriously, I think I should have had at least a half a dozen more children. I get carried away with too much free time.)