I Wonder

I've been thinking a lot today. For a very long time now, I have believed that when we try to limit our family size what we are really saying is, "I don't believe God knows what is best for me, so I'll take care of this myself, thank-you-very-much." I think the reason we stop at 1, 2, 6, or 10 is for purely selfish reasons. Oh, we are good at disguising our true feelings. We say things like, "we can't afford to have more, we wouldn't be able to spend enough quality time with our children if we had another, blah, blah, blah."

I am of the mindset that God DOES know what He is doing. Little by little, even science (I believe) proves God right. What if you had 2 children, 1 boy and 1 girl. You and your spouse decided that you had the perfect little family. Snip, snip! You ended your physical ability to have more children saying you could always adopt later if you changed your mind, afterall, aren't there plenty of children out there just waiting to be adopted?

But what if God had designed for you to have 4 children. Because God is Omniscient, He knows just exactly what you need. What if in that perfect design for you to have 4 children, He had built in a safe guard so that you would not get breast cancer. Suppose your body needed just the exact hormone variance of having 4 children in order to ensure your health and avoid breast cancer. If you knew this ahead of time and could choose just 2 children and later get breast cancer, or choose to raise 4 children (complete with all of the sacrifices this requires), what would you choose?

Sadly, too often when we make life-altering choices we don't give God enough credit. We don't believe He is looking out for our best interest, or that He truly cares about the details of our lives. We think just because we had 4 children in 4 1/2 years that we will continue to have children this quickly/easily. (My mom had her first child at 19 and had her 4th before she turned 24.) My mom didn't plan to have that many children that soon. In fact, the doctor had told her she would probably never have children. She also didn't know that she would have a complete hysterectomy at age 24. She did not have 20+ children, as some might have guessed at the rate she was going. Had she decided after having her first daughter and first son and quit, I wouldn't be here. I am so thankful that she allowed God to choose her family size.

I also wonder how a man would feel if after deciding to stop his family size at say 3 children, and then later found out this increased his wife's chance of cancer.
What if she did develop cancer and died? Would he see the connection? Would he wonder if he directly or indirectly opened the door for his wife's cancer? And if he tried to warn other, younger men and fathers of the dangers of not allowing God to choose their family size, would these men pay attention?

And what about the wife who twisted her husband's arm to quit having children because she just didn't think she could handle anymore? Would she question if her decision had anything to do with her illness? Would she wish to go back and do it over again so her children would not only have more siblings to enjoy but also a longer time with their mom? Her husband, instead of enjoying his family, is left with the full responsibility of raising his children because of his wife's selfishness, how would she feel?

I'm just thinking out loud today. This is not meant to criticize anyone for their choices in family size. Just wondering what if...