The Car Story (part 1)

(Part One)

I was waiting in front of the school when she walked out. Hmmm...was that guy walking with her? Elisabeth opened the car door.

"Mom, can you drive John (not his real name) to the corner of the shopping mall? That is where his grandpa picks him up."

"Sure."

Once inside, Elisabeth introduced us. "This is John. He used to go to our school, but moved away. Now he is back." He was pretty quiet in the car, but then we didn't have very far to drive. After he got out, Elisabeth told me how he and his mother had moved away. She was a single mom and had a boyfriend in another state but it hadn't worked out and John was back. She told me he didn't really have any friends, so she was trying to be nice to him. I was proud of my daughter for reaching out to the new kid. I'd been the new kid at school, so understood how difficult it could be making friends. I hoped it wouldn't be too difficult for him since this was a Christian school.

Over the months, Elisabeth often talked to John on the phone. Because she was a cheerleader and he was a football player I began seeing him often at school events. He and his mom also attended our church. But the more I saw him the more uneasy I felt. There wasn't any one particular thing that stood out as unusual, but there were some little things that I found bothersome. John never seemed to look you7 in the eye when he talked to you. Too often I'd find Elisabeth arguing with someone on the phone. When I'd ask, she was always talking to John.

The following school year Elisabeth ended up with the locker furthest away from classrooms. The school had grown so much, it had begun using what were previously locker room lockers as regular lockers. John offered to let her share his locker and unwisely she agreed.

John asked her to go to the Homecoming Dinner that October and so they went together. Shortly thereafter, although not dating, John began to become very controlling. He would call and harass Elisabeth over who she spent time with, where she'd go and even her phone calls. He figured out her 4 digit password and began retrieving her phone messages. He'd take her phone & read her text messages. She was eating at McDonald's before cheerleading practice one day. He showed up (how did he know she was there?) and began yelling at her because a male classmate was sitting with her.

Michael and I spoke with Elisabeth about how unhealthy this relationship was and that she needed to distance herself from John. She agreed, but found it increasingly more difficult to separate herself from him. Even with not sharing a locker, he still knew her locker combination. They attended the same youth group, she was still a cheerleader and he a football player and they were in many of the same classes at school.

Being a part of the same Christian community, we tried to cut him some slack. But over time, it became apparent that his behavior resembled that of a stalker. Too often he had information about Elisabeth that in order to know certain things meant he was no doubt following her, watching her every move.

One day one of my neighbors came over and asked if I had a minute to talk. She explained that she'd been sitting on her porch one day and saw Elisabeth drive past. Shortly afterwards she saw another car. Instead of driving down the cul-de-sac, it had turned on the street directly in front of her house. After pulling just beyond some bushes, she said she watched as a young man got out of the car. He walked down the street just far enough so that he could see our house from his vantage point without us noticing him. She said he stood there watching for quite some time. She was quite bothered by this, so got up from her chair and began walking towards him. As she got closer, she called out to him. According to her, he turned, saw her coming and ran back to his car, got in and sped off. She described John and his car quite accurately.

(I see I'm going to have to share this story in parts, so "to be continued...")