Tense

I am feeling tense this morning, and this is not normal for me. I do not like getting phone calls at unusual times and am wondering if this is the source of some anxiety.

It is 7:20a.m. and at this time yesterday I received one of those phone calls. Caller ID showed that it was one of my girls who'd left for school. What did she forget now, I wondered. (But for a second, there is always that fear that there has been an accident.)

"Mom, we ran out of gas on the highway. But don't worry, it was close to the exit and we walked to the gas station and got a gas can. Just thought I'd let you know."

My first thought was why is the 14 year old calling and not the 17 year old. The second was disbelief. You mean the car died, they coasted down the off ramp, walked to a gas station, bought a gas can with gas all BEFORE calling home for help?

Michael walked in as I hung up the phone. He felt bad about the girls running out of gas. He is notorious for telling Sarabeth "oh you have plenty of gas, you could go another 50 or 60 miles on that tank of gas." And she probably could have, if we hadn't drove it 50 miles on Saturday. Oh, and I was the one who filled the tank last, and forgot to reset the mileage for about 10 miles making it inaccurate. Guilt.

That's not to excuse the person driving the car, as if she doesn't know how to look at the gas guage. And she had intended to get gas on the way home from school. Instead, she had an unexpected adventure on the way to school.

I am proud of them for being able to handle the situation, but maybe that is why I am feeling tense. What if they were in an accident? Would they wait to call until after the police came, after they'd gone to the hospital? Can I know longer look at the clock and rest easy that they are already safely at school based on the time alone? Even though I was happy they handled it, I'm concerned that one of them might be afraid to call home when something happens that they perceive was irresponsible on their part. So they try to take care of it on their own to make us proud. I am left to wonder if they are sitting safely in school, or on the side of the road somewhere dealing with who knows what. Ugh! It isn't easy being a parent and knowing the right thing to do.