Quiet here, at least for the moment. I've enjoyed a glorious week with all 5 of my children home, plus my grandson Ethan. I'm happiest when my house is full and running over. To add to the mix, Michael's sister is visiting with her husband and 2 children. I'd forgotten, though, that in trying to accomodate a bunch, that sometimes means having to make difficult choices.
Not knowing how many would be here for dinner, both ovens were fired up and baking away. It would be an eat and run dinner, as we were to watch Hilary's dance performance at 7:00. She was leaving early Friday morning for Pom Camp where they hoped to qualify for Nationals. The girls have worked hard. Practicing 2-3 hours, 5 days a week and spending their Saturdays on fund raisers, it was finally time to show off all they'd accomplished. Hilary was excited to share it with us.
Just before we sat down to eat, Christina comes running into the house with Ethan. "MOM! Ethan was caught in a swarm of bees!" She'd found one sting on his wrist so she ran it under cold water while I found the Benadryl gel. After a few minutes, Ethan began to look like one of those cartoon characters with the distorted faces. His lips were swelling, his chin was twice its normal size-on one side of his face. It was a bit scary to look at him. This time I grabbed the liquid benadryl and forced down the proper dosage, while Christina prepared to whisk him off to the emergency room. I held him in my arms wanting so badly to make things all better for him.
But what about Hilary? I couldn't miss her performance. How does a mom/grandma be in 2 places at once? I had to allow Ethan's grandpa to fill in for me, while I stayed home and served dinner.
I noticed Elisabeth was a bit down. I asked her if she was going with us, but she said no. She'd made other plans because no one told her about the dance. I argued with her for a few moments about changing her plans, when I realized she was having a crisis of her own. I wanted to stay and talk to her about it, but ended up leaving.
As I drove, I found myself tearing up. I prayed for Ethan and hoped his throat was not closing up and he was breathing ok. I prayed for Elisabeth and the situation she was struggling through. I arrived at the school feeling very undone. I wanted to feel excitement for Hilary, but it wasn't easy with so much on my heart and mind.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who would tell me that is one reason NOT to have lots of kids, that I can't possibly be there for all of them. For a second I would feel guilty. I do want to be there for them. But in the end, I know I can't. That is when each of them will have to rely not on their mom or dad, but on their Heavenly Father to be with them. I know I can stand on this reassurance, but as a mom, I still want to be there for them.
4 comments:
You know, I'm one of 6 kids and I'm sure my mum had similar times to yours. I'm glad I'm from a large family and although we learned a certain type of independence, we also learned values such as sharing, loving and communication. Well, tons of other things too.
It doesn't matter what others think about large families. There's always going to be the ones who think they know better but you're right - it is far better for them to learn to rely on our Heavenly Father.
I only have one child and would have loved to have had more but didn't. I'm not always there for him either and I won't always be there for him. Large family or small, God is the One we all need to rely on.
You have so much love and time for your family and you pray faithfully for them too. That is more important than the size of you family! :)
HUGS
Oh my how scarey for you all. One bee sting is bad enough, but several? Ouch.
I know how you feel about trying to be there for all of them. We just have to do our best and rely on God's help for the rest. The kids know they are well loved, and that makes them extra strong.
*Hugs-a-bunch*
I agree with Carolanne, I have four siblings and I have only one child (and two grandchildren) and I cannot always be there for them either, much as I would like to!!
Even if we can't physically be in upteen places at once, our love and our prayers can be!!!
Post a Comment