Tick tock, tick tock, counting down of the clock. In less than 5 hours, I have to wake up. I am supposed to board a plane that will take me halfway around the world. It doesn't seem real or even possible, but ready or not, here I come.
I feel like I'm forgetting so many things, leaving too many things unfinished. Five minutes into the flight, I most likely will remember what all I've forgotten. It feels uneasy.
I almost started to cry in the store tonight. Even though I am so very excited to see my kids in 2 countries, an overwhelming sadness of the ones I'm leaving behind hit me. What if we never come home? What if....I think the 4 1/2 hours of sleep I had last night is catching up to me.
I'm also uneasy about leaving someone else in my kitchen. This is where I am most at home. It's like letting someone else wear your shoes and socks. It is just weird. Especially since there is no time for her to get acclimated to.....well, to my way of doing things. I was serious when I told you I was a food nazi. Very serious. Ask any of my family members. It's one thing to let others help out in my kitchen, it's something completely different letting them have full control. And I won't be there! It makes me scared.
I'm off to dreamland, the short version. Tomorrow is the real deal.
2 comments:
After talking with several friends with celiac and a Dr. I wonder if you don't quite have the problem with Elisabeth totally solved. I think it sounds like she has another food allergy/intolerance that you have not discovered. Have you had her tested for a variety of foods? There are some very sensitive tests that can be done that solved my food intolerances. Janice
Janice, I appreciate your concern. We too, had considered this possibility. But amazingly, when there is no gluten in our home, when I do all of the cooking, Elisabeth never gets sick. We can almost always trace back when she gets sick to cross-contamination somewhere.
The tricky thing about Celiac is the symptoms can vary greatly from person to person. Even El's pediatrician was shocked to learn she had celiac since they had never bothered to test her even though she'd had gastro symptoms for years. She asked what made the Dr. think to test her for Celiac and upon hearing about her symptoms said, "We need to rethink how we look at that disease." She felt badly for never thinking of it in regards to her symptoms.
El's gastroenterologist said she has some of the most severe symptoms she has ever seen, with the exception of one other person. Even though she has recommended that I have testing for food intolerances/allergies, she has never recommended any further testing for Elisabeth. I'm sure because when she eats in a very tightly controlled kitchen she has no symptoms at all. Hence the reason I am so very careful. Overall a simple solution to a complex problem.
Post a Comment