Eye Opening

A few years back, my family rented a house so we could gather together for a family reunion. About the second night, I happened to catch a glimpse of my only son scrubbing a toilet. Incredulously, I stepped back. My son, Christopher, was cleaning a toilet. I beamed with pride.

I thought about how sweet it was that Christopher was doing this for his wife, Lauren. They were about to announce to extended family that they were expecting their first child. No doubt Lauren still had moments of running to the bathroom to expel the contents of her stomach that her body deemed inappropriate for her child. What a thoughtful son I had raised!

Fast forward a few months. I was staying in another rented home. Lauren's brother was getting married. As we prepared, her father made a comment to me I will never forget. He told me he was going to clean all of the bathrooms in the house so when we were getting ready for the wedding, the bathrooms would be clean. He said one of his biggest pet peeves was a dirty bathroom, especially the toilet.

Ding! A light went on for me. While I was busy taking credit for a thoughtful son who cleaned a toilet for his nauseous pregnant wife, I realized I was completely off base. My son wasn't cleaning because I had trained him in some particular way. My son was cleaning because his wife had that expectation! She grew up with a father who had cleaned the bathrooms. My son was cleaning because it was what his wife expected. Her father set this example for her while she was growing up.

I cried. Not because I felt I had failed. I cried because my son was honoring his wife. What more could I ask? He was fulfilling her expectations of a husband.  He understood her needs, and chose to meet them.

Honestly, we never spoke about this. For all I know, Lauren might have tried to clean it herself but became so nauseous she asked him to take over. Or I could be wrong about everything.

It doesn't matter. It was an "aha" moment for me. I can't take credit for his actions. My son chose to honor his wife. For that I am so very proud.

Truthfully,

Joanne

"In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."