Abstract Saturday

What do you see?

This one has intrigued me for a long time. 

I see a female, profile.  She has long hair with a snowman atop her nose touching her eyelashes and peering straight in her eye.

The Inconvenient

Pregnancy sometimes happens at inconvenient times.  Trust me, I get that. I totally understand. It happened to me. I was 18.

During the last half of my junior year of high school, I had surgery. I missed 4 weeks of school. I had to drop classes like chemistry because I couldn't make up the labs and choir because it was a participatory class. It was difficult making up the credits my senior year. Consequently I was 1 1/2 credits short. I didn't graduate. In order to complete my education, I attended summer school. I found out I was pregnant. This was not a convenient time to become pregnant. I didn't finish high school.

I married, had a baby girl, and never received any government aid. No food stamps, or help with medical bills. Nothing.

Two years later, I was divorced and working 7 days a week as a single mom. I met a man and moved 1000 miles away with him and my daughter.  We didn't get along. After a couple of months, I move 1,000 miles back to my parent's home. Not only am I a single mom, but now I have no job. Two weeks later I find out I'm pregnant. Not a convenient time to become pregnant.

I reconcile with my boyfriend. We marry. We have a son.

Life wasn't easy. It never is. I became pregnant 3 more times, actually 4-one I miscarried. None were planned. None were convenient. We never received government assistance. I was a stay-at-home mom. I raised and cared for my children while my husband worked hard to pay the bills. We've been married for over 33 years.

What became of those inconvenient pregnancies? That first baby girl? She has two degrees, works full time as a hospice nurse,is married and raising 3 beautiful children. The difference she has made in the lives of our family but of her patients and their families is amazing. The times she held a grandmother's hand as she took her last breath, comforting her and not allowing her to die alone. Or her attentiveness in recognizing a father, close to death and alerting the family so they can be there for his last moments. The comfort she gives, the pain she alleviates, the prayers she prays wouldn't have happened if I had decided it was an inconvenient time to have a child. And truthfully, many will spend eternity in heaven because she is here.

That little boy? He could have been aborted. He earned a degree, married, went to law school and he and his wife are raising two beautiful daughters. He is making a difference in the lives of all he meets. I would love to be there at the end of his life to hear the untold stories told of how lives were changed because he is here.

I am deeply saddened by the inconvenient pregnancies that end in abortion. I don't believe life is ever an accident. God knows each and every one.

Those other 3 inconvenient pregnancies? The youngest, a girl, is getting married this summer. She has a great job, and graduated from college last year with a dual engineering degree. She is making a difference in lives.

The second to last, another daughter, graduated from college and married. She too had an inconvenient pregnancy. It happened right after she and her husband moved, and she began graduate school. She has a beautiful baby girl and will continue her education in women's health in the Fall. She will continue to make a difference in the lives of others.

The third inconvenient pregnancy resulted in a girl. She married in 2014. Three months before her big wedding, she found out she was pregnant. Not a convenient time to become pregnant. How would she ever fit in her dress?  She and her husband are currently raising a sweet baby boy. I have never seen a happier baby. She is making a difference.

Funny thing about these inconvenient pregnancies, they came on the heels of fertility issues. That surgery I had my junior year? It was for PCOS. I was left with partial ovaries and told I most likely would never be able to have a child.

That pregnancy that happened three months before the wedding? Yep, she was being treated for fertility issues.

The baby girl conceived when her mother began graduate school? In 2011, she had surgery for an 11 cm. dermoid cyst and lost one ovary.

We may think it is our right to conceive a life, or abort one at will. I believe life is a precious gift from the Father. We may go to extreme lengths to try to conceive, or try equally hard to prevent pregnancy but ultimately God is the author of life.

There's so much more I could share. I think I've made my point. Life matters.

Truthfully,

Joanne

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it." (Ps. 139:13-14)

Abstract Saturday

 I'll let you guess.

New Day

I can't believe I'm averaging one post a month. I have no excuse, except I've been sick. Sick for way too long. I've had to turn down watching some really cute grandkids...on more than one occasion.


 I had started face timing at night with Ethan, reading him books before he went to bed. I haven't been able to continue.

I have hardly left the house in nearly 3 weeks. I am sick of being sick.

Okay, I have posted.

Truthfully,

Joanne

"And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick." Mt. 14:14

Catching Up

It's been awhile. So much happening. So many changes.

Towards the end of March, Ethan was here for 10 days for his spring break.The weather didn't always cooperate.

 Because it was last minute, I wasn't terribly prepared with activities for him.

He is such a joy. He has matured in so many ways.

In April, both Ethan and Josiah were here for 4 days. It was Josiah's first time overnight with Gramma and Grandpa.

He did wonderfully. He was a snuggler, which typically he isn't.

 So fun to get to know him better on his own.

The last day they were here, Ethan was able to play with the neighborhood kids. I cried.

He enjoys a version of "cops & robbers" with his aunts and uncles. 

That day, Ben and Grace both willingly played along with him.

A little later two more boys joined the fun with nerf guns. Ethan had friends that interacted with him.

They shot at the bad guys. They protected their turf.

They chased each other. I cried. I want Ethan to have friends like this every day of his life.

The following weekend, we went to Colorado Springs to celebrate my oldest daughter's birthday. I have been a mom for 35 years.

That's almost 2/3 of my life. What joy to see Christina grow from a sweet, compassionate, smart little girl into a very wise, intelligent, thoughtful, hard-working, creative mom.

It's a busy, blessed life. I couldn't be more thankful for my family and the rich full life.

Truthfully,

Joanne

"Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence."

Happy Birthday Hilary

A very happy birthday to you Hilary! I am so proud of you. This is your last birthday as a single lady.

Next birthday you will indeed be a Mrs.

Where has the time gone?

My little Hilary 

who was so happy and made us laugh all of the time.

Now you are a beautiful lady who still makes us laugh.

 You are always there

for your nieces

and nephews,

for siblings and us.

 I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am to be your mom.

You are a beauty, both inside and out. You are thoughtful, loving and a joy to be around.

I love you so much. I am so excited for your wedding this summer and dancing the night away.

Truthfully,

Joanne

    "...their children will be a blessing." (Ps. 37:26b)

I'm exhausted. It's late. I sit and rock. Her downy soft head nuzzled against my chin, I breathe in her newborn smell, wanting to savor this moment always. It's my last night in Atlanta. I've been here 3 weeks.

The two of us have snuggled together each and every night, in the quiet, late hours, hoping her mama might get 1, 2 maybe 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

This sweet babe must know it's my last night with her. Her little eyes are wide open. She studies my face as if to inquire, "why won't you stay Gramma?"

"Little one," I say, "I will miss you so much." I pull her close against my chest, stroking her soft hair against my cheek.

Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. I'm not ready to leave you. I have so much to tell you, so much love I want to impart to you.

I blink back the stinging tears. I don't want sadness to mar this beautiful moment.

Has it really been 3 weeks since I arrived, with great anticipation of seeing this baby be born? I almost witnessed her first breath, but at the last minute, only her daddy could accompany my daughter to the operating room.

A miracle birth.

I am blessed. Abundantly blessed.

Yes, sweet one, so fresh from God. You were created and formed from the heart of the Father. You've been given gifts and talents, abilities and personality so unique there has never been and never will be another person like you.

You are valued. Your are cherished. You are loved. Your newborn scent is intoxicating. I inhale deeply.

Truthfully,

Joanne

"He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." (Is. 40:11)

March

March, you make me happy. You have always made me happy since you are the month I celebrate the day of my birth. But I love you for so much more.

I live in Colorado. March, you are the snowiest month of the year.

Each time it snows, the grass grows greener.

Flowers pop up from the dead earth.

Life emerges in blooms,

babies, and blossoms.

Spring happens.

Summer will be here soon.

March, marches onward, utilizing the last bursts of winter,

ushering in all of the goodness and hope of warmer weather.

Truthfully,

Joanne

"As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." (Is. 55:10-11)