Courtesy & Other Forms Of Respect

I've been pondering quite a bit lately, on the lack of respect, honor, integrity and just plain old common courtesy. Over the next few days, I plan to talk about these things, relating some personal experiences.

Years ago, (what seems like years and years) it was common for a gentleman to "do" for a lady. Such things as assisting her into her carriage or onto her horse...okay, we won't go that far back. But do you remember men opening and holding doors, pulling out a lady's chair, polite words exchanged between the two? I believe this simpler, kinder culture provided men and women with roles in which they were comfortable. It was common knowledge what was expected of a lady and what was expected of a gent.

Things have certainly changed. I was confronted with my own questions of the impact these changes have had on our society. Have the changes all been positive ones? Or have most been negative? Are we better off or worse?

Several years ago, Michael and I ventured out with a neighbor couple. We had our 3 youngest girls with us, they had their son. It was a very, cold December night. I'm not sure why we'd agreed to go, but here we were-stepping out into below freezing temperatures. It didn't seem to matter that we were dressed in coats, hats, gloves, & scarves. The bitter cold seeped inside and clung to us. We trudged along the paths to view the Denver Zoo's Wild Lights.

As we hurried along, not many words were spoken. Talking seemed to allow too much warm air to escape making us feel colder. We oohed and ahhed just a bit, enough to seem as if we might be enjoying ourselves. Finally, Elisabeth blurted out, "I'm cold! Can we get some hot chocolate or something?"

Immediately, my friend turned to her son. "John, give Elisabeth your coat. She's cold." I was so surprised by this, it took me a few moments to believe what I'd heard. John didn't respond, his mother addressed him again. "John, when a lady is cold, a gentleman offers her his coat. Be a gentleman and give Elisabeth your coat."

Elisabeth assured her that she did not need or want John's coat. There is no way she could in good conscience have taken his coat. Michael spoke up and said that it was not necessary for John to give up his coat-he would freeze.

But this incident made me wonder. In years past, would this truly have been the right thing to do? Would a young boy of 12 be required to give up his coat for the greater comfort of the weaker sex?