I am fascinated by snores. Mostly, because I can't figure out why people make this ruckus when sleeping. I mean seriously. When fully awake that same person doesn't make obnoxious noises when breathing.
I imagine working out at the gym. I'm on the eliptical or the treadmill. Suddenly the guy next to me begins snorting. Yes, it would be a guy. Women don't snore. Gurgles, gasps and shudders. I'd have 911 on speed dial. He's dying! He's having a heart attack! He can't breathe!
Instead, I see a man lying in his recliner, asleep in front of the television. Suddenly, it starts. The shudder, gurgle, gasp and snores. I don't dial 911. But sometimes I want to. Mostly in the middle of the night...when I can't sleep because I'm afraid he will choke to death. No, not really. I just want to sleep.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"Um, it's not really an emergency."
"Then why did you call?"
"Well, it could be an emergency. He's making these awful choking noises. If he keeps it up, I might have to put a pillow over my head. And I might quit breathing. Then it will be an emergency. When can you get here?"
But seriously, isn't it fascinating that anyone breathes like this, but only when asleep? Wheeeez, heeeee, snort, gurgle...what does snoring look like in writing? I can't express the sounds I'm hearing. I tug on the bed covers. I don't want to wake him. I'm merely trying to calm the storm. Nope. I hear the loud struggle to suck in air. I brush my hand against his arm. It quiets for a moment. I lie there waiting to hear his next breath. Nothing. Is he still breathing? What if he isn't breathing? I listen harder. All is quiet. Once again I ponder what creates these strange noises. I drift off to sleep.
I must have continued my wondering, as I begin dreaming. I'm on vacation, at a beach house with family and friends. Someone has brought along their dog. And he is snoring. I try to make him stop. But no matter what I do, the dog keeps snoring. I pet it, offer him treats, I try to play fetch. Nothing works. I try to enjoy the sun and sand, but there is a rhythmic sawing noise that interrupts my fun. I resort to kicking the dog. It wakes me up from my slumber.
I realize it was all a dream and try to go back to sleep. But now I'm awake Why can I still hear the dog snoring????
2 comments:
(LOL! I have wakened myself snoring.) He may not be getting enough O2, or have sleep apnea. My Dad found out this last summer, after a sleep study, he needed O2 at night. He is a different man these days!
My DH tried covering my nose and mouth with his hand one night due to me snoring. Unfortunately for him, I dreamed someone was trying to kill me, and woke up punching. He said I punched him 7 or 8 times before I was awake enough to realize what I was doing. (I told him he ought to try shaking me, rather than smothering me!)
haha I know the feeling. But THESE days, Ken is the one wearing earplugs! What? When did I start snoring?
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