Friday, November 01, 2013

Life In A Large Family

Back when my kids were younger, we often had conflicts of time. Penciled in on the calendar for Wednesday would be a late afternoon lacrosse game, an early evening choir concert, and a church event the same week another child was to be on a week long pom or cheer competition (or Outdoor Lab) for which I wanted to be a chaperone. Choices had to be made as to which child to be with and where. I can't say I always made the right choices, but I made them with lots of prayer and often a heavy heart.

Recently, Michael signed up to attend a conference in Estes Park. He asked if I'd like to drive up one day during the conference for a night away together.  Of course! We've had some great memories there. We stayed at the Stanley Hotel over Valentine's Day in 2012. In April of this year we were snowed in when we foolishly took my car for a romantic getaway to Estes. I considered staying 2 nights, but knew it would be too long to be leave my mother-in-law with my girls.

My mother-in-law was invited to a bridal shower for one of her granddaughter's that same weekend. She decided she would like to go, and asked me if I would be willing to accompany her out-of-state for the event.  Well, of course.  That also happens to be where my parents and siblings live so not only could I help my mother-in-law, but I could visit with my family as well.

"Sorry honey, I won't make it to Estes this trip. I'll be going to Arizona with your mom." He was okay with it.

The morning I booked our flights, I received a message from my son.  I had previously asked him to let me know when he and Lauren would be dedicating their baby girl to the Lord. I wanted to be there. (If you aren't familiar with Baby Dedication, it is similar to infant baptism, without the baptzing part. That is saved for when an individual makes his own decision to commit their life to God.) The Dedication was to be the same Sunday Michael was in Estes and I would be in Arizona.  I almost broke down and cried.


I spent hours on the computer trying to find inexpensive flights & hotels, wondering if there was a way I could fly to Arizona, then to New Orleans, back to Arizona, then home in a weeks time. It was ridiculous.  How could I possibly spend quality time with any of my family members? I expressed my frustration to Sarabeth when she reminded me that this was the same weekend she was scheduled to watch Ethan, but was hoping for my help as she had some other events planned that weekend.  Sure enough, on my calendar I had written Ethan over that weekend.  I thought when my children became adults most of the time constraints of scheduling events would disappear. I broke down and cried.

When I finally composed myself, I did what I should have done from the start.  I prayed. "Lord, where am I needed the most? You know my heart and that I want to be with each member of my family, help me to be wise."

Having a large family, that continues to grow, it is easy to forget to maintain my marriage. My children are adults, but our home remains busy and alive with relationships. After praying, I felt at peace with not being able to go to Arizona with my mother-in-law. I knew God would be with her as she traveled.  I accepted not being at Ivydee's dedication, knowing I would be united with her and her parents in spirit & prayer. Sarabeth chose to watch Ethan at his house, so I was free to be at home with my number one man. Talk about changing things up, whew!

Friday night we had a surprise visit. Brian came over to ask for our blessing to marry our daughter, Elisabeth.  If I had been gone, I would have missed this moment.
(Congratulations Brian & Elisabeth!!!!)

On Saturday, Michael and I worked together painting doors and woodwork. We had so much fun. Mostly we talked about how blessed we are, while we waited for the phone call that the proposal had taken place.

Afterwards, we drove to Estes Park.  I stayed both nights with Michael and came home very refreshed.  I love my family and spending time with each and every one of them, but to be whole, I need time alone with my other half. I think I made the right choice.
 (This was the view from our gorgeous room.)
(The black square shows the two windows of our room, and yes, we opened one of the windows.  The weather was gorgeous.)


Truthfully,
Joanne

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one." (Mark 10:7-8)

"May he grant your heart’s desires
    and make all your plans succeed." (Ps. 20:4)





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