Thursday, February 21, 2019

Miss Me

I miss writing. I miss blogging. I miss me. That's right, I miss me.

I went to San Diego at the end of January and came home sick. I'm still sick. The weird thing is that a few days ago I looked in the mirror and I did not recognize the face I was looking at. Seriously. I studied it and I didn't remember it.

Have you ever known an old person that you never knew when they were young? You see a picture of their younger self and you don't recognize that face as they've always looked the way they do now to you. 

That is the face I saw looking at me in the mirror. It was as if this gentle, older lady, with kind eyes but no eye lashes smiled sweetly at me. But it wasn't me. Who is that?

For the next couple of days, I did the same thing looking into that mirror. I was kind of confused. How could I change overnight? I mean, I am being treated for pre cancerous skin lesions and a squamous carcinoma on my face but could it make me look unrecognizable?

It makes me kind of sad that I don't see myself. Will it always be this way? Just curious, am I the only one who has experienced this? I've never heard anyone else talk about it. Let me know if you have any insight.

Thanks peeps.


~Tammy~ said...

Yes. I stare into those bagged eyes and round face, wondering where the angles and apple cheeks went. I do hope you feel better soon! There has been some stuff that just seems to HANG on and on- respiratory. I do think we are close to the same age, with me being a wee bit older? (1960) Be blessed!

~Tammy~ said...

Oh... I meant my bagged eyes and round face, By the way!

PJ said...

I'm frequently surprised by the older woman staring back at me from my mirror. . . especially on a close-up view. But I'm thinking you may be talking about a bit more. When I was on chemo, I sometimes experienced derealization (Not recognizing where I was, ut at the same time knowing exactly where I was at!) The one you may be experiencing is called depersonalization. Perhaps mention it to your doctor. They can adjust meds. Just a thought.