Saturday is an anniversary of sorts around here. One year ago, my inlaws boarded a plane with as many clothes as their suitcases could hold, and came here to live for the rest of their lives. It was huge.
They'd spent the last 42 years in the hot desert of Arizona and were entering the ever-changing weather of Colorado. How would they adjust to living in snow?
At first we planned to renovate our home to provide them with space and privacy. After months of configuring, strategizing, engineering, researching,we came up with another plan. We found a lovely retirement community, the Meridian. It was close to our home with many amenitites that we couldn't provide-the first being a quiet place. Even though our home is quieter than it has been in years, it can still be bustling with activity and noise. That can be difficult to escape. At 83 and 79 years old, we felt a home at Meridian would offer them so much more than we could provide.
Shortly after their arrival, we worried. Had we made the right decision? They seemed tired, frail, sad. Michael and I doubted they'd be able to live on their own. During family dinners, it seemed they missed much of the conversations. We feared the noise level was too much, the chatting, laughter, and silly stories were not enjoyable but exhausting for them. What were we to do?
It didn't take too many days or weeks before we began to see remarkable improvement. Not only were they smiling more, they were becoming a central part of dinner conversations. Playful teasing, joking, and lots of laughter was exchanged between the kids and their grandparents. We were thrilled.
Towards the beginning of April, Michael and Christopher drove a truck of their downscaled belongings, and moved them into their one bedroom apartment. After everything was unpacked, we said goodbye and closed the door. As we walked from the building, I had butterflies in my stomach. The same flutters I felt the first day of Kindergarten with each of my children.
After 5 years, my child was no longer exclusively under my care.
After 5 weeks, my inlaws were no longer sharing our home.
I was excited for my child to begin his new journey at school, but I worried how he would cope with so many new experiences.
I was happy for my inlaws to have a place of their own, opportunites to meet new friends, and learn new things. Would they be happy?
Letting go butterflies. Hoping & trusting I've done what I should, in the time I'd been given. Expecting the best, but preparing for the worst. Very mixed emotions.
3 comments:
I was just about to ask how it turned out for all of you when I noticed the "part one"
guess I'll be patient.
I'll be tuned in to hear how it goes. Somehow, I think you made the right choice and they'll be happy!!
I'm just sitting here thinking how glad I am that you can be right there in the same town as your in-laws. I miss my family and my husband's family so much. They are four states away. I wonder if this place will be our permanent home, and it crushes me to think that our parents are so far away from us. Right now they are active and healthy, but as the years go by and they get older and frail, I can't bear to think that we are way over here and they are over there. I want to be near them.
I'm glad that you can visit them anytime you want, and you can do things to help them around the house and have them over for family celebrations. Even though they aren't in your house, they are still nice and close.
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