Sitting in church yesterday, I was overwhelmed once again at God's plan of salvation. Meditating on how much was accomplished at the cross, how much he gave and provided for us, and how we can have a relationship with the Father because of this gift.
But while sitting there amazed at this incredible gift, another thought crept into my head. What if Ethan is never able to grasp this simple truth? Will he ever understand how much the Father loves him? Although we are born into sin, God sent Jesus to pay the penalty for that sin so a relationship with the Father can be restored, we can be forgiven. What if Ethan goes through life never knowing?
Tears began to flow. This just cannot be...but what if? And then, it was as if I could see the Father reach down with a smile across His loving face. He cradled a little child in his arms and began singing to him. It was a love song as the Father gently rocked.
I know that when a baby dies they are swept away to heaven. (Even those yet to be born.) I believe that we are not held accountable until the age of accountability. I do not know what that magical age is, because all of my children seemed to comprehend the simple truth before they were 6.
It's possible that Ethan may never reach this age of accountability no matter what age he becomes. But the Father in heaven will still take him up as a little child and hold him. At that time, Ethan will know. He will understand how very much he is loved.
"But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven." (Matt. 19:14) 10/31/05
But while sitting there amazed at this incredible gift, another thought crept into my head. What if Ethan is never able to grasp this simple truth? Will he ever understand how much the Father loves him? Although we are born into sin, God sent Jesus to pay the penalty for that sin so a relationship with the Father can be restored, we can be forgiven. What if Ethan goes through life never knowing?
Tears began to flow. This just cannot be...but what if? And then, it was as if I could see the Father reach down with a smile across His loving face. He cradled a little child in his arms and began singing to him. It was a love song as the Father gently rocked.
I know that when a baby dies they are swept away to heaven. (Even those yet to be born.) I believe that we are not held accountable until the age of accountability. I do not know what that magical age is, because all of my children seemed to comprehend the simple truth before they were 6.
It's possible that Ethan may never reach this age of accountability no matter what age he becomes. But the Father in heaven will still take him up as a little child and hold him. At that time, Ethan will know. He will understand how very much he is loved.
"But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven." (Matt. 19:14) 10/31/05
(This is another repost. Three years later, this boy is just as sweet as ever.)
6 comments:
Oh wow. My words/thoughts/worries exactly.
I'm new at this faith game and for long and convoluted reasons which I won't go into here, our children are not being actively introduced to God.
I have an autistic son (I believe I've commented before?) who just turned 10. So much about his future grabs at my heart and squeezes the life out of me and this is one of those things, but I have come to rest at a 'place' within myself that has made an enormous difference - it really can't be anything else other than God-given.
It stemmed from a conversation with an American pastor via email (he has a radio program I listen to via podcast). I'd emailed about suffering, because way back at the beginning of this journey I was having a hard time reconciling a loving God with a struggling son. The words the pastor gave really resonated (and I can share them if you like) but this then led me to Revelation 21:1-4.
Actually, I have to go further back than that...about 8 or 9 months prior to my emails to the pastor, I was shocked and saddened to have to attend the funeral of a (then) 5yo autistic boy. We'd known the family a little as another of their sons and our son, J, were in the same special ed class. This particular little boy loved water and wandered away from home one day, drowning in a nearby river. At his funeral, his grandmother (a Christian) quoted Rev 21:4. At the time (before the Godly whisper, which was to come a mere four months later *smile*) I was almost offended at the thought that this 'make believe world' after death would simply erase all my son's troubles.
Now it is the thing I cling to most, and I honestly believe it.
J, like Ethan, may never fully understand God as regular kids might, perhaps not even if I was to freely speak of Him. I envy this. To accept most things without the need for proof that so burdens older/normal children and adults? What freedom! (It's for this reason I also envy 'lifers' - those introduced to faith from birth or early childhood). It is so difficult to put aside a lifetime of logic - one of the things I struggle with the most.
But with J - I know he is taken care of. In fact, I would say Rev 21:1-4 influences me daily more than most Scripture - because it is so easy to witness J's struggles and differences and just want to BAWL. In the end though, He's got J right there at his feet :)
Cheers,
Lizzie
www.lizzieshome.com
What a sweet and thoughtful post.
Oh Joanne. I totally agree with you; the age of accountability simply never comes for some...I suppose they are the luckiest of us all in many ways!
Your Ethan is just so sweet.
Joanne, I have had this same thought with regards to David.
God knows a person's heart, and if that person isn't capable of understanding the concept of salvation or making a deliberate choice for (or against) God, they won't be held accountable. Like Jenni said, I sometimes think those people are the luckiest of all.
I've dealt with the exact same feelings because of Sweetums. We have come to the same conclusion. :o)
*Merry Christmas!*
Joanne. you need never worry about Ethan not understanding God’s love !
My husband's nephew was given experimental drugs when he went into seizures during a severe teething period. The drug destroyed his mind.
He has stayed at a very young developmental age… perhaps two…not even that in some ways - with severe daily seizures.
In Richard's early years before it was fully understood how much was really wrong with him, my mil spent hours singing ‘Jesus loves me’ with him.. and ‘Gott ist die Liebe’ (God is Love) … He never forgot those songs ..even if he can’t sing them himself.
Does he know God loves him ? Just say the name Jesus to him and watch his face light up!!
He is now over forty and he is a great blessing to all of his care givers.
He has taken what he has and done more to make a difference in ‘his’ world than many people do with great talents and abilities!
I have NO doubt but that his understanding of God surpasses many ‘normal’ people’s understanding!
Remember that God communicates with man's spirit and his 'heart'.. (not the organ we call a brain) .. and our spirit is NEVER affected by drugs or autism or brain disorders !!!
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