Thursday, November 12, 2009

Not What I Expected

It wasn't quite what I had envisioned, but I'm not completely sure what I was expecting. I awoke earlier than usual, in order to make the hour and half drive. I was hopeful I could make it in less time, but wasn't sure about traffic on a Tuesday morning. I hadn't counted on getting lost. Total time driving? Two hours and 15 minutes. Once inside, I met Christina. She knew I was a little undone but reminded me that I was there now. I needed to lay aside the frustrations and focus on the purpose of being there. Yes, I could do that.

It was my day to observe Ethan's class. Ethan attends a private autistic school. Not having much experience with autism, I wanted to see what a typical day is like in a setting where ABA therapy is applied. My goal was to glean ideas and effective means of reinforcing the progress he's made this past year. I hoped my presence in the class wouldn't interfere with his learning or be too distracting for him. I shouldn't have worried.

When he finally noticed me, his brow furrowed. I waved. He looked blankly, as if looking at a stranger. He saw his mom and I think he thought it must be time to go home. He headed towards his cubby to get his backpack. His teacher redirected him.

I spoke to him and explained the he wasn't leaving, but that Gramma wanted to see him at his school and watch him learn. I think he understood, but I'm not sure he liked the idea. A grandma is supposed to be at her home where he can go visit. Teachers and classmates go to school. Mixing the two didn't seem right. So off he went to play outside.

It was strange to feel like an outsider. I am Ethan's grandmother. I wanted to hug him, encourage him, acknowledge his success, and cheer him, especially when I saw him jump for the first time ever. But his communication told me, I was merely a spectator. I am not a part of his classroom world. I felt a twinge of sadness at not being an active particpant.

Consequently, I observed autism in its raw, unpretentious form. I witnessed the amazing effectiveness of ABA therapy. I watched Ethan interact with his peers. Understanding teachers helped him relate to his friends. I saw joy, frustration, curiosity, fun, and acceptance. I learned firsthand how much Ethan enjoys his school community.

And I am grateful.

7 comments:

Christopher and Lauren said...

Wow what an experience. But that is something so wonderful to be thankful for this Thursday :)

gretchen from lifenut said...

It's probably an experience you'll never forget---especially watching him do something for the first time.

Maddy said...

It can be very sobering, or at least it was for me when I slipped into each of my sons' classes. It took about 3 months for my older one to adjust. He went from hiding in the corner to centre stage and after that things just got better and better. Between you and me that was about 8 years ago. I never thought that we would ever reach the point where we are now. Right school, right teachers and therapists, great programmes - it's amazing how it can all come together to help our children.

Becki@AutismBloggers said...

Hi Joanne,
It was so great of you to stop by the site and leave a comment. I think it is absolutely wonderful that you got to spend the day at your grandson's school - what a great experience!

Heth said...

I'm so glad you were able to go see what his world is like. Not what you expected, but so special.

Melany said...

It must have felt odd to be in a different part of his world. One where you haven't been before. It's funny how we feel so much a part of our (grand)children's lives that we forget they have spaces where we don't 'fit'

It is so good to hear that he is happy where he is at and doing well.

Mother Mayhem said...

How wonderful for Ethan. And mom. Makes me feel a bit wistful. I wish there was something like that here for Emily. Sigh.