Fresh Perspective

Through Ethan's eyes,

a Christmas Tree is a place where toys hang, waiting for someone to play with them-but you don't have to put them back when you are finished.

anything wrapped is meant to be opened as soon as you lay your eyes on it.

a platter of cookies is for eating, and the one time you remember to clean your plate.

a wreath is merely a hat to wear on your head.

stockings are for wearing on your feet.

anything musical should be played over and over non-stop, while watching Transformers on television. If you can't hear turn it up louder.

Jesus is missing from the manger. I guess he isn't supposed to be there yet? It isn't Christmas morning. I hope He shows up.

Where Have I Been All My Life

My home is quiet. The song "Where Have I Been All My Life" is singing in the background as I ponder myself, "where HAVE I been all my life?"

I looked in the mirror this morning and almost didn't recognize the face gazing back at me. She looked much older than the last time I noticed her. The sparkle didn't shine so brightly in her eyes. Her skin appeared drier and not so soft. The lines were much more pronounced since I last saw them. Who am I looking at in that glass?

"Some years are clear and some a little blurry
Man how they fly by
Mom and dad sure got old in a hurry
Where have I been all my life"

I listen quietly as he speaks, my mind floating elsewhere. Will these be the same eyes I look into 30 years from now? His words tell a story I've heard a dozen times before. I nod to acknowledge I understand what he is saying. Will this be my dearly beloved one day down the road?

"Been learning that forgiveness is as much for myself
As it is for the other guy
And I read the good book these days and believe it
Where have I been all my life"

Fast & furious it will hit me. And we will be old. My mother-in-law has spoken recently, as if it crept up on her too, "We're getting old." She recognizes another life changing event is happening and struggles to keep it at arm's length, fearing once it is close it is forever.

With every breath, life becomes a little shorter. Sometimes it is easy not to notice the passing of time. But at other times, I come face to face with reality. And I wonder, Where have I been all my life?

Baby It's Cold Outside

I knew it was cold outside, but -484? Hahahaha. I took this pic from 9news. The windchill number is accurate, but apparently because of the cold temperatures they are experiencing some technical difficulties. Officially at DIA, I believe the current temperature is negative 16 degrees. But I can relate to being technically challenged from this time last year.

To Snip Or Not To Snip

What do you do with those satin ribbons that are sewn into a shirt or dress to keep it on the hanger?



I usually snip. When I don't, the pesky things have a way of peeking out of my clothing, secretly desiring to be a waving flag. (Does anyone remember when bra straps were not attached? You know, the part that adjusts was free at the end. No matter how well you tucked it in, somehow it would work its way loose and flap in the wind.) Come on, doesn't anyone remember the embarrassing moment when your strap snuck loose and was tugged by someone to let you know it was showing? Back then, nobody let their bra strap show, especially not the flappy end.

But I digress. Maybe it is those horrific memories that cause me to snip. This one time, I decided to not snip. I was afraid I'd have trouble keeping this wide neckline shirt on its hanger. So I pulled the shirt over my head, and tried to find a secret place to tuck in the ribbon hangy thing. One side was successful. But the other side...well, something seemed wrong. Had I somehow managed to put my arm through the loop, getting it stuck beneath my arm? I pulled my shirt off.



Seriously? Can you see the problem? Looks like someone was trying to help me out by tacking it down for me.


I snipped.

Record Breaking

I broke a personal record the other day. I only wish it was running faster, farther, longer...something I could brag about. But this wasn't a fitness or strength training. It was a driving record.

No, no, no, I didn't get a ticket or anything. I'm not about to break THAT record. You see, I drive a convertible (in case there is anyone out there who didn't know that.) Why own one, if you can't drive with the top down every chance possible? So that is what I do. The only time you'll see the top up is under these conditions:

1. It is raining (that's an obvious one.)
2. It is snowing (ditto.)
3. If the temperature dips below 38 degrees. Seriously, as long as it is sunny outside and at least 38 degrees, the top is down and I enjoy it. (Thirty-eight at night...a little too chilly.)

So the other night, I was out. Imagine my surprise when I checked the temperature on my dashboard.

Yep! Thirty-five degrees and the sun was not shining at 7:03 p.m. I think this should count as an endurance record or something.

I love driving my car.

A Day Of Thanks

Our table was set.

The girls were helpful and beautiful.


Some enjoyed the great outdoors of Colorado,


While others stayed inside.

I was thrilled to have this guy adorn our table,

But Ethan had other ideas.

He thought long and hard. When it was time to eat, he ditched his turkey for the fresh-out-of-the-oven one.

I have so much to be thankful for.

Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.
Oh, give thanks to the God of gods!
For His mercy endures forever.
Oh, give thanks to the Lord of lords!
For His mercy endures forever

Ethan, Stitch, & Grandpa

Here is the video I promised to post for family.

Quiet and Loud

I'm not sure why sometimes I have such lapses in blog posts. I'm told it happens to everyone, but sometimes I wonder. Some people are never at a loss for words, at least in person. My guess is they never run out of words to blog either.

Extroverts are revived by interacting with others. Introverts find refreshment by spending time alone. I am an introvert. I need down time, alone. I suspect that is why I take breaks from blogging.

When I have something to say, the words come spilling out. I can't keep them inside. At times, it is necessary to hold onto them. It requires self discipline.

Josh McDaniels could learn a thing or two about letting loose of his words. (I don't agree with this particular writer who thinks it is perfectly acceptable for him to talk this way to his players.)

Is It Really Almost December?

What does this look like to you?

It helps to live on the North Side, where the Colorado sun shines. (I do think we have our own sunshine.)

Michael and Ethan shoveled the bit of remaining snow.

Off of the GRASS. Michael is eager to mow.

I thought summer was over. Thanksgiving is this week.

The boys were tired after working so hard.

Ready for some football.

Christmas Gift Ideas

A friend recently asked for homemade gift ideas for adults. She requested items that did not require sewing and not food items. That eliminates many of my thoughts, as I personally enjoy food and food related gifts. I think the best way to be inspired in gift-giving is to sit down and make up your own list of gifts you would like to receive. If you are looking to give low cost, hand or home made presents, or service gifts, what could someone give you that would be appreciated? Then take into account that persons interests and see what you can comes up.

Last year, I posted my top 10 handmade gift list. I'm including it here.

Handmade gifts often require a chunk of time, but not always. I smile when I think of some of the treasures I've received or ones I'd like to have. Making your own gifts won't always be free, but can be less expensive and more meaningful than searching the stores or internet for the perfect gift. It's too late for these to be of any value this year, but maybe if I plan ahead for next year...one of these days it's going to happen.

1. Homebaked goodies. I'm not sure why these get a bad rap. I'm not much of a baker (I blame the altitude.) A plate of cookies is delightful. A loaf of bread is nice too.

2. Recipes, especially those secret ones that were handed down from your grandmother.

3. What would be nicer than a homecooked or ready-to-cook freezer meal? It's the perfect future gift. On one-of-those-days when I'm busy, tired, or stressed out, I can pull that present right out of the freezer. I'll open and enjoy when I need it most. Plus, my family reaps the benefits.

4. A music CD with meaningful, fun, or interesting music/songs. Personally, I love music. An incredibly romantic gift could be one song, packed full of sentiment, burned onto a CD.

5. For my younger nieces and nephews, I've always thought a fun gift would be that of a card or note once a month for a year. I'd try to include stickers, pictures, or a dollar occasionally and words of encouragement. What child doesn't enjoy receiving mail? Email is overrated in the eyes of a child.

6. A CD/DVD with a photo slideshow, especially fun put to music. Include fun and goofy photos. Perfectly posed photos become boring. Laughter & tears blended together create wonderful memories of joy.

7. The gift of time. Give a card with a date on it. It can be simple or extravagant.

Join me: January 31st, at 4:00p.m
Location: Starbucks
Occasion: A time to kick back, conversate, enjoy a warm drink & good company

To make it even more interesting, give the same gift to 2 or 3 friends and plan to meet at a time when the holidays are over. Catch up and have a great time.

8. A memory, love note, prayer, or blessing written out.

9. Kitchen/Dining things, tablecloths made to fit my extra-large table, napkins, placemats, table runners. (This one is extra exciting for me.) I asked my mom for a tablecloth this year. Have you ever tried to find a tablecloth to fit a table that is 120 inches long and 54 inches wide? Or buy 12-14 matching placemats at 6 dollars a piece? Add cloth napkins in and it isn't going to happen here. I know these aren't cheap to make either, but what a wonderful gift.

10. Service Gifts-A promise to wash a car, make a meal, sweep a floor, do a load of laundry. But don't give an empty promise, follow through. If necessary, give a specific date that you are available to do this.

So there it is. My top ten list of gifts that don't require you to get out your credit card, wander the malls aimlessly, or search the internet for hours on end trying to find the perfect gift.

I'd love to hear your top ten.

The Big Cover-Up

Saturday morning, while preparing to have 30 people for dinner, my bathroom sink spontaneously imploded. Ok, maybe I helped it a little. My usual hand washing includes a quick squirt of liquid soap, obtained one-handed. But seeing as how I was preparing food for a multitude, I wanted to get a good lathering. I placed one hand beneath the spout and tapped the soap dispenser pump with the other. How did I know this action would cause a portion of the sink to give way?

I was a little shocked and not sure what to do. I didn't have time to deal with it. I had seven extra people staying at my house and with the dinner in a few hours we needed to have this bathroom functioning at full capacity.

I wonder how many of my guests thought they'd help me tidy up by moving the strategically placed washcloth off the sink.

I'm guessing one or two overnight guests might have grabbed this cloth before jumping into the shower, only to discover this:


But it didn't faze me one bit. I pretended it never happened and we went on to have a fabulous weekend.

Now to deal with the sink...anyone have superglue?

Not What I Expected

It wasn't quite what I had envisioned, but I'm not completely sure what I was expecting. I awoke earlier than usual, in order to make the hour and half drive. I was hopeful I could make it in less time, but wasn't sure about traffic on a Tuesday morning. I hadn't counted on getting lost. Total time driving? Two hours and 15 minutes. Once inside, I met Christina. She knew I was a little undone but reminded me that I was there now. I needed to lay aside the frustrations and focus on the purpose of being there. Yes, I could do that.

It was my day to observe Ethan's class. Ethan attends a private autistic school. Not having much experience with autism, I wanted to see what a typical day is like in a setting where ABA therapy is applied. My goal was to glean ideas and effective means of reinforcing the progress he's made this past year. I hoped my presence in the class wouldn't interfere with his learning or be too distracting for him. I shouldn't have worried.

When he finally noticed me, his brow furrowed. I waved. He looked blankly, as if looking at a stranger. He saw his mom and I think he thought it must be time to go home. He headed towards his cubby to get his backpack. His teacher redirected him.

I spoke to him and explained the he wasn't leaving, but that Gramma wanted to see him at his school and watch him learn. I think he understood, but I'm not sure he liked the idea. A grandma is supposed to be at her home where he can go visit. Teachers and classmates go to school. Mixing the two didn't seem right. So off he went to play outside.

It was strange to feel like an outsider. I am Ethan's grandmother. I wanted to hug him, encourage him, acknowledge his success, and cheer him, especially when I saw him jump for the first time ever. But his communication told me, I was merely a spectator. I am not a part of his classroom world. I felt a twinge of sadness at not being an active particpant.

Consequently, I observed autism in its raw, unpretentious form. I witnessed the amazing effectiveness of ABA therapy. I watched Ethan interact with his peers. Understanding teachers helped him relate to his friends. I saw joy, frustration, curiosity, fun, and acceptance. I learned firsthand how much Ethan enjoys his school community.

And I am grateful.

Reminiscing

I'm reminiscing a bit. On this day last year, I flew to Arizona to celebrate my Mom & Dad's 50th Wedding Anniversary. It had been a wild ride with my mom's health and we weren't able to plan a big to-do as my parents had done for their 40th. For that anniversary, we all went on a hot air balloon ride.

Not knowing when mom's health would improve, they chose to put off the celebration for awhile. I was sad. I did not want their special day to come and go without some sort of recognition. Fifty years of marriage is quite an accomplishment. I decided to fly down and if nothing else, make dinner for them, and we could share a quiet meal together. I informed my sisters and brother of my plan.

Amazingly, a plan was birthed. Like a fine-oiled machine, each one of us did our part to pull together what normally would take more than 2 weeks. We worked with incredible teamwork and had a very nice get together. Mom later said the very best part of the gathering was seeing her 4 kids having so much fun putting it all together. And we did. Each facet of the party was expertly accounted for as we used our creative talents.

Greg offered his home and boy does he have a knack for cleaning. Meticulous & detailed, he doesn't miss anything. I wish I could hire him to clean my house. His home is so very welcoming. I was equally impressed at the organization and creativity of his wife and my 2 sisters. Big and little additions that never would have crossed my mind, made the evening special. We shared the cooking, decorating, & clean-up. I put together a quick slideshow of past and present photos.

All of the grandchildren couldn't be there, or Michael, but all of us kids were there. It made for a smaller gathering, but sometimes that can be much more meaningful than the crazy chaos of a big family. There are 29 of us officially, but opportunity to expand at any given moment.

Someone thought to sit my parents and their 4 kids at one table during dinner. Talk about flashbacks from growing up. We laughed and remembered. It was great to reconnect. Not that we didn't miss those who couldn't attend, but we cherished the connection of 4 siblings and our parents. It brought great joy to all.

I hope my own children, no matter where this life leads them, will always share a special bond with their siblings.

Good

Good Monday morning or good morning Monday. I love the start of a new week. It is a blank canvas, waiting to be filled with beauty and all things good. Collosal color, tantalizing textures, savory scents, soothing sounds, breathtaking bites. Wake up to a good morning.

How Bad Was It?

The first morning back, after two snow days, I received a text message 45 minutes after Hilary left for school:

"I barely made it. Scariest and worst drive ever in my life."

Not really what I wanted to hear.

Well, except for the part that she made it, and is alive to tell about it. A little later, another text.

"Oh yeah, and my door blew open on the freeway cuz it was frozen so it wasn't latched completely. I almost died."

Holy cow! I'm so glad she didn't die. But she may have been traumatized for life. Feeling a little guilty now. The night before she asked if someone would drive her to school because she was afraid to drive in the snow. We assured her that we had complete and total confidence in her driving abilities.

Maybe next time, one of her parental units will drive her. I don't want to receive another text telling me she nearly died.

Can I Go Back?

While Michael and I were on our fabulous trip, we had the pleasure of meeting this group at Disneyland and California Adventure.

My very generous mom and dad wanted to take Ethan on his first trip to Disneyland. Elisabeth went along to help Christina. I'm so glad we coordinated it so we too could experience Ethan's laughter and fun.


Talk about one happy little boy.


It was hard to eat with so much to do and see.


But eating was the best time for photos. I have many more to share.

The only thing that would have made it better is if we hadn't left Hilary

and Sarabeth at home.

And if Christopher and Lauren could have joined us.

You Capture...Autumn

This week's You Capture Challenge from Beth is Autumn. After returning from sunny California, I went out today and took these photos of "Autumn."

The bridge with a bit of foliage and snow.

A little red peering through the snow.


A light fluffy snow, but the weatherman says it is heavy and wet.


It looks as if the sun is shining, but it is not.



Not too creative. It was cold out there. Click here for more You Capture Autumn pics.

Ahhhh....

Do you see this man?

He is brilliant. His employer chose to acknowledge his creative ability. In honor of his outstanding achievement, he was was given a special inventors award:


In order to receive it, he had to attend an award's ceremony at a fancy hotel.


This is the view of the courtyard from the room's balcony.


Opposite the courtyard is this spectacular view. Yes, that is the Pacific Ocean. And the best part? He enjoyed the benefit of bringing his wife on this breathtaking excursion.

We left Denver last Wednesday. It was snowing. That evening, in Huntington Beach, we watched the sun go down. The temperature was in the 70's.

The award's ceremony was the next day. I wish I had pictures. I was so proud of Michael, butI left my camera in the room along with my purse. I couldn't bother carrying a bag, while wearing a sparkly new outfit. (Yes, it glittered.) We looked spectacular together. (I can say that since we don't have contrary evidence.)

We spent 5 glorious days and 4 nights in the beach front hotel. And guess who else we met up with?

Leaving Denver & the snow. Hello California!

Cell Phone Usage

I have a love hate relationship with text messages. I've said this before. Today is a love day.

I was at the doctor's office this morning and noticed a hand-written sign. I thought about capturing it by picture with my phone, then sending it here via text message. But my pride prevented it. The waiting room was full of men & women and I would have had to stand in front of them all. I would have looked silly taking a picture of a marker board. Still, I was excited to see it. It read:

You can now get a non-urgent appointment by text messaging. Send a text to XXX-XXX-XXX with the following information: Name, when you want the appointment, the reason for needing it, and the doctor you prefer to see. You will hear back from us within 2hours, but probably right away.

How cool is that? I love technology...most of the time.

This Really Happened

I'm looking at a blank page. I type a bit, but it feels wrong. I backspace and delete. Do you ever want to say something, but the little voice inside won't let you?

By now, I know to listen to that quiet voice. But I do still argue with it from time-to-time.

I: I know you really want to tell everyone.

Self: Yes, I do. I've been thinking about it and yes, I want to say it. I was shocked when I heard this and I think others will be too. If nothing else, for entertainment value.

I: But don't you think someone might be hurt when they read it? Actually, more than one person.

Self: Yes, but this is reality. I was there. It really happened. It isn't as if I'm saying something false or making this up. Plus, there is a greater cause at stake here. I'd like to hop up on my soapbox and make a few comments to make others aware.

I: Look, you are free to do what you want. But I'm telling you, you will regret it if you go ahead and do this.

Self: Gosh darn it! I hate when you say things like that. This would have been such a good blog subject. Think about all of those folks who are reading today who this would have been food for thought, something to chew on-not everyone ate breakfast this morning. But you are right.

I: I'm always right.

I smile with a smug satisfaction.

STOP

Did the prankster think that if he removed the words somehow we wouldn't know what this sign means?

Or was there just an overwhelming need to vandalize something and this was a seemingly harmless way to do it?

This must be the work of the AppleHood gang.

Still Life

Beth at I should be folding laundry has a weekly photo challenge. This week's theme is Still Life.


I don't own a fancy camera, so I make do with what I have.


My morning routine pre-computer.

I cook with this wine. Somewhere between a white and red, it's a white merlot. But I like the color.

Guess Who?

No, it is not my face.

Constant Questions

I don't have little children around anymore asking curious questions, "why is my hair brown and her hair blonde?" I miss those pondering thoughts. Now I have to make up my own. So I am wondering, "Why is someone who has diabetes a diabetic?"

My inquiry came from a conversation with a gentleman who referred to his wife not as having Celiac, but "she's a celiac." It was as if her disease now defined who she is. No longer his wife has this, but she is this. It struck me as wrong.

Someone with cancer doesn't call themselves a cancerite or cancerette...what would we say? Nobody wants cancer to define them, Elisabeth pointed out. Sarabeth mentioned celiac is a lifelong disease but cancer wasn't necessarily. No, cancer can snuff a life out pretty quickly, or one can become a cancer survivor.

So I posed the question, "what other diseases do we have a term that identifies you as the illness?" I had a hard time thinking of any others.

"A leper."

Elisabeth was right. Someone with leprosy is called a leper. This is a great example of a disease defining who you are and as I suspected holds a negative connotation. We brainstormed.

"Alcoholic"

"Hemophiliac" That is another for sure.

We thought of a lot of words. Down syndrome used to be defined as being Mongoloid. I'm happy that was changed. Someone with Autism is said to be Autistic. That is defining, but I see it more as an adjective rather than a noun/pronoun for someone.

We discussed why we wouldn't want to be classified by a disease. Elisabeth was certain she does not want to be called a Celiac. The silly musings continued:

"Since it is Cillyass disease, why not call yourself a sillyass."

Spoken like a true father.

1st Anniversary

One year ago today, Christopher & Lauren were wed. I've been poring over pictures trying to find a few or maybe one to post in remembrance of a spectacular day. Everything about the day was near perfect, the photos lovely, the bride and groom stunning. While I try to pick a photo, I reflect on moments not caught on film. Images captured only in memories.

The tenderness in Christopher's voice, the morning of his wedding. He asked if someone could hand deliver a card and roses to his soon-to-be bride. As he spoke, his eyes smiled. Did he envision the delight on Lauren's face?

Amidst the laughter and tears, prayers of thanksgiving were uttered. Unspeakable joy of the joining of these two lives radiated from members of both families.

Standing in the back of the church, waiting to walk down the aisle with Christopher, we watched as Christina, Sarabeth & Ethan lit the candles. The wonder on Ethan's face spoke volumes. Nearly losing his composure, Christopher turned towards me. Wiping his eyes he murmured, "Mom, I don't know how I'm going to get through this."

The bittersweetness of a father, as he kisses his little girl one last time, before she gives her heart to another man.

Innumerable, indelible imprints forever etched in my mind, that words cannot begin to express. Suffice it to say, a day marked in heaven as the end of two, the beginning of one.

Happy 1st Anniversary Christopher & Lauren.

Does this make my butt look big?

I went shopping today. I tried on clothes and was disappointed that every single outfit made me look fat. At what point do I stop and tell myself, "maybe it isn't the clothes?"

I: Hey, self. Maybe it isn't the clothes.

Self: What? Of course it's the clothes. I am NOT this fat.

I: Well, I'm just saying. Everything you've tried on so far has been, umm...tight. And maybe, just maybe, it is not the fault of the clothing.

Self: Shut up!

Silence.

Self: Maybe it it the lighting in these darn dressing rooms. Look how pale I look. It must be the lighting and the mirrors. I know I don't look this bad at home.

I: What about those slimming jeans. You know, the one that have a built in thingy to hold your tummy in so it doesn't pooch out.

Self: Hmmm...ok, I'll give it a try.

I: Well, I hate to say it.

Self: What the freak is wrong with these jeans??? Yeah, sure they hold in the part that is tucked and zipped. But what about the other part of my belly mushrooming over the top of my jeans. That doesn't look very slimming. I'm suing for false advertising.

I: I see you are not having a good day. By-the-way, do you realize that saying "what-the-freak" is really just a substitute for a swear word? It isn't much different than swearing. And you know how you are about not swearing. You go around telling everyone how offensive it is. Do you think some might find "what the freak" offensive?

Self: I am not having this conversation with you. Who asked you anyway? Certainly not I. Or maybe it was I.

Wednesday Wonderings

Just because I haven't posted much lately, doesn't mean I'm sitting around idle. I'm actually working on a few things. I thought I would share, but when I tried, things seemed to get very wacky. That leads me to believe I'm probably on the right track. Let's just say change is not easy, walking on the water isn't either. But I'm thinking of stepping out of the boat.